Brad & Lisa/transcript


 * [movie starts with the 2011 20th Century Fox logo]


 * [Lisa's alarm clock goes off. She wakes up, turns it off and gets out of the covers]


 * Lisa Simpson: Good morning, Springfield! [walks up to her window and opens it, then smells the air] Ah! There is nothing like refreshing air this morning, isn't it?


 * Marge Simpson: [calling out to Lisa from downstairs] Lisa, breakfast!


 * Lisa: Ugh. Okay, Mom!


 * [cut to the family having breakfast. Lisa runs into the kitchen and sits]


 * Marge: I made pancakes for you, Lisa. I added it with syrup and butter on top of it.


 * Homer Simpson: Mmm... pancakes.


 * Marge: No, they're not for you, Homer. They're for Lisa.


 * Homer: D'oh!


 * Marge: [sets the plate down on the table] I hope you like it.


 * Homer: There's one thing I need to tell you.


 * Lisa: What is it?


 * Homer: You can stay here for about 27 hours, because we're going on a vacation to Hawaii!


 * Marge: That's right, sweetheart! A vacation to Hawaii!


 * Lisa: Hawaii?


 * Homer: Uh... Hawaii is, uh... um... Uh... I don't know.


 * Lisa: [facepalms] Oh, don't you get it, Dad? Hawaii is a state of the United States located outside North America, and is the only island state in the country. The largest city is Honolulu, located in the island of Oʻahu, the third-largest of the Hawaiian Islands, nicknamed "The Gathering Place".


 * Marge: She's right, Homie.


 * Homer: Oh, I see.


 * Marge: What time is it, anyway?


 * Homer: Erm... [shrugs] I don't know.


 * Marge: Oh, for God's sakes, Homer, haven't you checked your watch to see what time it is?


 * Homer: [checks his watch and screams] It's nine o'clock! That means we'll miss our flight to Hawaii! We've gotta hurry otherwise we'll fail to reach our plane!


 * Homer: So... How about a little music for us? [turns the radio on and Tracy Chapman's "Almost" begins playing] Nah, not that one. [switches to another radio station and Smash Mouth's "Can't Get Enough of You Baby" starts to play] Ooh! Smash Mouth! [to Marge] I was once a fan of Smash Mouth, no? [Marge groans. Then her phone rings and then answers it]


 * Marge: Hello?


 * Mr. Burns: [on phone] Mrs. Simpson, [the scene changes to Mr. Burns's office in the Springfield Power Plant where Mr. Burns is talking to Marge on the phone] is your husband going to work yet?


 * Marge: [the scene changes to Marge] Oh! Mr. Burns. [chuckles] Sorry, but we're off on vacation.


 * Mr. Burns: [the scene changes to Mr. Burns. He exclaims in shock] A v-v-vacation?!


 * Marge: That's [the scene changes to Marge] right. A vacation to Hawaii! And you know what a vacation [the scene changes to Mr. Burns] is?


 * Mr. Burns: Well, then what does the term "vacation" mean?


 * Marge: It means [the scene changes to Marge] a long period of leisure, where one is spent away from home or in traveling!


 * Homer: Here, let me have the phone, Marge. [Marge gives him the phone and Homer answers it] Hello? Homer Simpson speaking.


 * Mr. Burns: [on phone] Simpson, you were supposed to go to work today, remember? And you're off on vacation?!


 * Homer: [the scene changes to Homer] Oh, don't be silly. A vacation is, um... What was it again? I was deaf for a second. [Marge whispers into his ear] It means you are an old loser who takes a vacation up your ass! [laughs. The scene changes to Mr. Burns once more. He hangs up]


 * Mr. Burns: Smithers, I've been shamed! That Homer is supposed to work here today, and he and his family are off on vacation!


 * Smithers: Sir, I have no idea with the term "vacation" is.


 * Mr. Burns: Nonsense, Smithers. You know what Homer is? He's nothing but a fat, lazy, ignorant loser!


 * Smithers: [thinking] I'll just pretend this thing is trying to come between me and Mr. Burns.


 * [the scene changes to the Simpsons house]


 * Lisa: Well, I guess Dad was right. Now that my family is off on vacation, Lisa Simpson gets to do all the things by herself! Hit it, Snowball! [Snowball V turns on the radio with her paw and Berlin's Lost in the Crowd begins playing. Snowball V meows afterwards]


 * Brad: Look, what I'm trying to say is that--


 * Lisa: What are you saying?


 * Brad: We're best friends forever.


 * Lisa: [gasps] Really?! Best friends?! You and me?! Forever?!


 * Brad: Y-- Uh... Yes.


 * Lisa: [screams with joy and sighs] Ohh... This is amazing. We're... best friends... forever... [faints]


 * Brad: Lisa? [runs up to Lisa] Lisa! Lisa, wake up! [no response] Lisa?


 * Lisa: [regains consciousness and bursts into song] ♪Ohhhhhh, now that we're best friends forever, we get to have lots of fun. It's you and me, all about our friendship.♪


 * Brad: [singing along] ♪Oh, the night we were staring at the charming sky, and the shining stars were falling from the sky.♪


 * Lisa: ♪Oh, the day my bratty brother bothers me every time, and now that I'm here, I don't have to see him again.♪


 * Brad and Lisa: ♪Ohhh, now that we're best friends forever, we get to have lots of fun. It's you and me, all about our friendship. Ohhh, now that we're best friends forever, we get to have lots of fun. It's you and me, all about our friendshi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ip.♪ [they finish singing and sigh]


 * Lisa: So... What should we do next?


 * Brad: Well... The only question would be: "Why not do everything that friends would do?"


 * Homer: [Bart sneaks up to him, then slowly takes the sunglasses off his face] Huh? Bart! [as Homer tries to grab the glasses out of Bart's hands, Bart pulls them away] Those are my glasses! Give those back! [Bart throws the glasses away] No! [the glasses immerse in the ocean. Bart laughs] Why, you little! [strangles Bart] I'll teach you how to ruin my glasses!


 * Marge: Homer, will you ever stop that?


 * Homer: It was Bart's fault, not mine.


 * Lisa: You ever heard of David Hasselhoff?


 * Brad: Who?


 * Lisa: David Hasselhoff. He was the world's greatest actor of all-time just like you. He also became a singer, a businessman--


 * Brad: [cutting her off] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses. David Hasselhoff was a singer?


 * Lisa: Yeah. Back in the late 80s, he started his music career, starting off with his debut album, Looking for Freedom. That was the decade when me, Bart and Maggie were born.


 * Brad: Oh, yeah. I didn't remember that since I was studied at the University of Missouri. And his nickname was "The Hoff".


 * Lisa: [gasps] My God! I didn't know he had that nickname the whole time!


 * Brad: Yeah, me too.


 * Lisa: [scratching her butt while grunting]


 * Brad: Lisa? You're feeling a little itchy today, aren't you?


 * Lisa: Sorry. My underwear itches almost every time.


 * [the credits begin rolling as "Salutations Springfield", "Sad Songs (Say So Much)", "Make It with You" and "Moanin' Lisa Blues" play]