Brad & Lisa/transcript


 * [Movie starts with the 2010 20th Century Fox logo]


 * [The titles read "20th Century Fox Presents," "A 20th Century Fox Animation Production," and "in association with Gracie Films"]


 * Homer Simpson: [calling out] Alright, Lisa, stay inside! We're going on a vacation! Be good, okay?


 * Lisa Simpson: Okay, guys! I'll miss you all soon!


 * Homer Simpson: Marge, did you get the towels?


 * Marge Simpson: Yes.


 * Homer Simpson: The sunscreen?


 * Marge Simpson: Yes.


 * Homer Simpson: The rest of the vacation stuff?


 * Marge Simpson: Yes.


 * Homer Simpson: [calling out again] Okay, Lisa! We're leaving! We'll be right back!


 * Lisa Simpson: Okay, I know! I'll be good!


 * Homer Simpson: Okay! See you in 3 days! [the family, except Lisa, leaves the house and they close the door. Lisa comes downstairs, looks out the window and sees her family in the car and are ready to go on a vacation. The camera cuts to Homer and Marge]


 * Marge Simpson: You know vacations are holidays.


 * Homer Simpson: Oh, I know they are.


 * Marge Simpson: Um, aren't you gonna work at the power plant?


 * Homer Simpson: Relax. Hopefully Mr. Burns would like that. [camera cuts to Mr. Burns's office in the power plant. He is waiting for Homer to work at the plant]


 * Smithers: [to Mr. Burns] Are you sure Homer will be there?


 * Mr. Burns: Oh, come on, Smithers. You think Homer is just as lazy as fat people are and is waiting for himself to work at this plant? Pfft. That's all I need to ask.


 * Smithers: [thinking] I'll just pretend this thing is trying to come between me and Mr. Burns.


 * [The camera cuts back to Homer and Marge. Ned appears outside of the Flanders house and talking to Homer]


 * Ned Flanders: [to Homer] Well, hi-diddly-ho, neighborino!


 * Homer Simpson: D'oh! [talking to himself, whispering] Stupid Flanders. [to Ned, sarcastically] Well, hey, Ned. We're going on a vacation. My 8-year-old daughter's staying in our house. She's gonna do a lot of things in there. I bought her a to-do list to see if she wants some tasks to do. Wouldn't you go on a vacation?


 * Ned Flanders: Well, I'd love to, but... [short pause] No.


 * Homer Simpson: Why not?


 * Ned Flanders: I've got lots of work to do at my house, like trimming our bushes, and all that.


 * Homer Simpson: Oh, okay. Well, see you in also 3 days!


 * Lisa Simpson: [camera cuts back to Lisa Simpson still looking out the window and seeing the family drive off] It's a good thing I'm the only one in this house. Oh, well, I guess it's time to do something else. I have my to do list.


 * Lisa Simpson: [camera cuts to Lisa's room, with Lisa entering her room] There you are. [she picks up her to do list and becomes shocked after she notices she has a lot of tasks to do on her list] Ay, caramba! There's a lot to do. "Turn on music." Hmm.


 * Lisa Simpson: [she comes back downstairs and sees a radio station on a table] Aha! [she walks up to the radio] Music, Mr. Radio. she turns it on and Maneater starts playing] That's one.


 * Lisa Simpson: [groaning] What happened? Where am I? [she notices she's still in her 2D animation self] Well, at least I still look good, but... I think I'm in the real world.


 * Lisa Simpson: [she looks at the sun; we see a shot of the sun] Oh, the sun looks much different than in our world. And it's much brighter too. [she looks at the trees; we see a shot of the trees] Trees look different too. [she looks at the grass; the camera pans down to the grass that Lisa's standing on] Even the grass. This is getting weird. [she and Brad look at each other as they both scream and fall backwards and on their butts. They start hyperventilating]


 * Brad Pitt: A-A-Are you an animated character from The Simpsons?


 * Lisa Simpson: Uh... [chuckles nervously] W-Why, yes. [she gets up and clears her throat] What's your name?


 * Brad Pitt: Uh... [he gets up] B-Brad Pitt, the most powerful American actor of all-time.


 * Lisa Simpson: Wow! Brad Pitt, huh? That's cool! I'm Lisa Simpson, the smartest animated 8-year-old girl from The Simpsons.


 * Brad Pitt: Well, what happened to you?


 * Lisa Simpson: Listen, I don't know what happened to me, but I just got transported to... [camera zooms in on Lisa's mouth] ...the real world. [camera zooms back out to her] I mean, come on! Look at me! I'm still in 2D animation! Can you believe it?


 * Brad Pitt: Never expected that.


 * Lisa Simpson: Yeah, me too.


 * Brad Pitt: [short pause] Where do you live in?


 * Lisa Simpson: In Springfield. And where do you live in?


 * Brad Pitt: [quietly] In Springfield, Missouri.


 * Lisa Simpson: In what?


 * Brad Pitt: [loudly] In Springfield, Missouri.


 * Lisa Simpson: Hey! We both have the same name of the city as I live in! [Brad and Lisa start laughing in joy and they hug each other] OK, you can put me down now. [Brad puts her down]


 * Lisa Simpson: Well, then... Toodle-oo, fellas! [she giggles as they both walk off]


 * Brad Pitt: Hey, don't be so silly!


 * Adam: Lisa Simpson... with Brad Pitt? [Ryan interrupts]


 * Ryan: Shut up, okay? Jeez. [camera changes to Brad and Lisa singing along with Kesha's Tik Tok on the radio while Brad is driving]


 * Lisa Simpson: ♪Don't stop, make it pop, DJ, blow my speakers up♪


 * Brad Pitt: ♪Tonight, I'ma fight, till we see the sunlight♪


 * Brad Pitt and Lisa Simpson: ♪TiK ToK, on the clock, but the party don't stop, no. Woah-oh oh oh, woah-oh oh oh. Don't stop, make it pop, DJ, blow my speakers up, tonight, I'ma fight, till we see the sunlight, TiK ToK, on the clock, but the party don't stop, no. Woah-oh oh oh, woah-oh oh oh.♪ [song ends]


 * Lisa Simpson: [sighs] That was wonderful, wasn't it, Brad?


 * Brad Pitt: Yeah, it was. Hey, we should write down our #1 thing: Sing along while listening to a song on the radio. How does that sound?


 * Lisa Simpson: That sounds awesome to me.


 * Brad Pitt: [sighs; thinking] Well, Brad, you've outdone yourself this time. There is no way of leaving Lisa behind. She's extremely obsessed with me. This is gonna be spectacular.


 * Lisa Simpson: [she gets carsick and her face turns green] Brad, I'm feeling nauseous.


 * Brad Pitt: [speaking] Come on, Lisa, [looks at Lisa, who is sick] it's just-- [notices she has gotten carsick] Lisa? You don't feel so good.


 * Lisa Simpson: [the sickness rumbles] Stop the car. I-I'm gonna be sick. [Brad stops the car as Lisa starts to retch; she gets out of the car and throws up]


 * Brad Pitt: Oh! You know what? How about being tickled? [starts to tickle Lisa; Lisa starts giggling and laughing hysterically]


 * Lisa Simpson: Brad, stop! That tickles! Stop it! Stop! [all of a sudden, Lisa pees herself laughing and they both stop; they are shocked] Um, Brad?


 * Brad Pitt: What happened?


 * Lisa Simpson: [long pause as cricket chirps are heard in the background; camera zooms in on Lisa's mouth] I peed myself. [Brad gasps in bewilderment]


 * Lisa Simpson: [breaks the fourth wall and looks at the audience as she blushes embarrassedly] We'll be right back, folks. [walks offscreen sideways embarrassed. Then, the title reads "½ Hours Later"]


 * Lisa Simpson: [Come Away with Me starts playing as Lisa is in tears and is saddened and starts sobbing; Brad turns around to her and is bewildered] Brad, you don't understand. We loved each other that much when I met you as I got transported to your world, we had a lot of fun, and you made me burst into tears. 'Cause you know what? You are just such an idiot! [she runs off crying]


 * Brad Pitt: No, wait! Wait, I-- Oh, no. What have I done?


 * Lisa Simpson: Okay, stand aside. Stand aside, everybody. [the crowd moves aside] There is going to be some [crunches her knuckles] dangerous butt-kicking [to Ruben] for you, you nasty, old, loathsome prune! [the crowd gasps and murmurs]


 * Ruben Bertrando Schwietzer: Yeah? Well, there's gonna be some dangerous clobbering for you, you...you--You...smart little chick!


 * Lisa Simpson: That's what I like to hear.


 * [The Good, the Bad and the Ugly starts playing as Ruben and Lisa glare at each other, while the camera alternates from Ruben and Lisa. Brad is concerned. A woman takes her phone and snaps a picture of Ruben and Lisa facing off against each other]


 * Brad Pitt: [walks up to Lisa] Umm, Lisa? A-Are you sure about this?


 * Lisa Simpson: Who cares what anybody thinks? [points at Ruben, who is off-screen] That freak right there is my worst enemy. [Ruben smacks his fists together as the camera shows him] Just go with the flow. [Brad walks off]


 * Homer Simpson: Why you little! [tries to strangle Bart, but his hands are slapped away by Marge]


 * Marge Simpson: [angrily at Homer] Let me! [her hands are slapped away by Homer]


 * Homer Simpson: No, let me!


 * Marge Simpson: You wait your turn! [the family, except Lisa, starts to fight over Bart]


 * Homer Simpson: I was there first, damn it! [they begin fighting and shouting]


 * Lisa Simpson: [to the viewers] Well, everyone, it has been a great time for me, I'm sure. You see, meeting a real actor in the real world is quite spectacular to you, but it's all about what your eyes would see. Until then... Goodbye! [she waves goodbye to the viewers]


 * [camera cuts to outside the Simpsons house, then pans out to the town of Springfield. Then, the title reads "The End". Camera fades out to black]


 * [the credits begin rolling as The Way You Say, I'm Just A Kid, Chillin' in Springfield and Jazzman start playing]