The Road to El Dorado (1996)/Transcript

The Birth of El Dorado
W ARNER B ROS. AND 20 TH C ENTURY F OX PRESENT

 THE ROAD TO  EL DORADO

Narrator: Our glorious city Was build by the divinities by Gods Who saw fit to bestow The gift of a pardise Peaceful and harmonious upon Us mere mortals below And made El Dorado The magnificent and golden One thousand years ago El Dorado, El Dorado, El Dorado

[first lines, as the theme song begins by Tom Jones, then cut to New York, saying, "NEW YORK 1849"]

BLU Soldier’s Speech
NEW YORK 1849

Blu Soldier: [putting the cup in water, scooping it up] Today, we sail to conquer the new world, for America, for glory, for gold!

[the crowd cheer]

Man: Viva Soldier!

[the guns fire at the sky scares Spirit and accidentally spilled water on Soldier's armor]

Blu Soldier: Spirit, eyes forward. [throws a cup at the poster with Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, saying, "WANTED REWARD 100 DOUBLOONS"]

One More Roll
Martin and Chris Kratt: Seven! Edd: All right! Martin Kratt: Yes! Matt: [gives a high five] Partner! Hee-hee! Edd and Matt: [singing] Tons of gold for you! John Silver: Hey! Martin and Chris Kratt: [singing] Tons of gold for us! John Silver: Hey! Boys: [singing] Tons of gold for we! John Silver: Hey! One more roll!

[Edd stops playing his guitar]

Chris Kratt: Uh, guys, you're broke! You got nothin' to bet with! John Silver: Oh, yeah? I got this! Man: A map! Martin Kratt: A map? Edd and Matt: A map! John Silver: A map of the wonders of the new world. Edd: Wow! Let's have a look. [puts a finger on the map, then grabs the map] Matt: Uh, Matin, Chris! Martin Kratt: Excuse us, for one moment, plase. Edd: Guys, Look! El Dorado! The city of gold! This could be our destiny! Our fate! Chris Kratt: Edd, if we believed in fate, We wouldn't be playing with loaded dice. [shows his dice at Edd and Matt, chuckling] Not with the face. No, no, no, no, no. No! No! No! John Silver: [grabs a map] I said one more roll! My map against your cash. Martin Kratt: All right, peewee. You're on! John Silver: [puts his hand out] Not with those! This time we use my dice. [shows his pair of dice] Ehh, got a problem with that? Martin Kratt: No. [grabs the dice to Edd and Matt, whispering] I'm going to kill you both.

[the map lands on the gold coins, then Edd starts playing the guitar]

Martin Kratt: Come on, baby. Papa needs that crappy map.

[Edd continues playing the guitar, then showind the dice, with the woman walking away, blowing]

Chris Kratt: [to Edd] Stop that!

[Edd stops playing the guitar]

Martin Kratt: Show me seven!

[the dice roll on the ground, one stops with the three on top, the other keeps spinning around, then gasping, then landing on the ground, with the four on top, making it seven, then they all exclaim and cheer]

Chris Kratt: Seven! Matt: All right! Martin Kratt: Seven!

[he grabs a map]

Martin Kratt: [laughing, grabbing the peseta coins] There it is! Chris Kratt: Well, nice doing business with you.

[his loaded dice roll on the ground]

John Silver: [pounding on the ground three times] I knew it!

[he grabs the dice to Edd, then playing a dramatic tone in the guitar]

John Silver: [enraged] Your dice are loaded!

Martin, Chris Kratt, Edd and Matt Act
Chris Kratt: [holds the guitar to Edd] What? You gave us loaded dice? Martin Kratt: [the face lands on the guard's body] He gave me loaded dice! Guard, arrest them! Matt: You dare to impugn my honor? He was the one who was cheating! Edd: Yes! [pushes Martin and Chris] Arrest them! They tricked these sailors and took their money! Martin Kratt: Oh, now We are the thief? Matt: Yes. Chris Kratt: Take a look in the mirror, pal! Edd: Oh, you two better give them money back, or We're... [takes a sword out] En garde! Chris Kratt: En garde, yourself. Martin Kratt: We will give two of you the honor of a quick and painless death. [takes a small sword out] But not with that. [takes another sword out] Ha! We prefer to fight fairly. Aha!

[they boys attack their swords]

Chris Kratt: Well, any last words? Edd: We will cut you to ribbons, fool! Chris Kratt: Such mediocrity. Martin Kratt: Let your sword do the talking. Matt: We will. It will be loquacious to a fault! Edd: Ha! Take that!

[they continue attacking]

Martin Kratt: You, mincing, fencing, twit.

Miguel: Ah, You fight like my sister! Edd: I've fought your sister. That's a compliment. Edd and Matt: Blackguard! Martin and Chris Kratt: Heathen! [trips and falls to the ground] Chris Kratt: Not the face, not the face!

[holds another sword, then they all gasp, then they all cheer]

Chris Kratt: Ladies and gentlemen, we've decided it's a draw. Edd: [throws the swords at the guard] Thank you all for coming. Matt: You've been great. See you soon. Martin Kratt: Adios!

[they fall to the ground]

Running From A Bul
Edd: Congratulations. Matt: You two very good. Martin Kratt: No. That was good. Chris Kratt: Very...

[the black bull appears, then they gasp, mooing and snorting]

Edd: We should have kept our swords, I think. Martin Kratt: Y-Yeah. Yeah, We're got a plan. Matt: What is it? Chris Kratt: Uh, well, uh, you pet him... Edd: Yeah. Chris Kratt: ...and We'll... Martin and Chris Kratt: RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

[they get up and run away]

Edd: Uh, well, thanks a lot!

[the black bull charges at Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, then they climb on a wall, then the black bull knocks the wall, flying to the wall, then they slide down, then they continue running]

Man: There they are!

[the black bull appears, then the men run, then they continue running, then the guards appear, taking the swords out, then they go inside with the woman screaming]

Martin Kratt: Bye. Thank you!

[the guards gasp, then the black bull knocks the guards over, with pieces flying the sky, then they continue running with a hat rolling down the stairs, then they climb up, then they grab the clothesline while swinging, with the clothes landing on the guards, then the arrows shoot at Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, then they continue running, then they both look at the barrels filled with water]

[While running for their lives, they come to the edge of a roof, quite a distance from the waterfront.]

Edd: I'll bet we can make that. Chris Kratt: Four pesetas says we can't. Matt: You're OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [they both jump of the edge and land in two barrels] You lose! [Chris flips four pesetas into Edd and Matt's barrel]

[Almost immediately, ropes are thrown around the four barrels and they are hoisted into the air.]

Martin Kratt: What's happening here? Edd: We're all in barrels. That's the extent of my knowledge.

[the man lowers the barrels on a ship, then the men roll the barrels, then they throw the barrels on a ship, then they take the corks out]

Chris Kratt: Okay, Edd, Matt, we gotta move fast. On three, we jump out and head for the dock. Matt: Good. Good. Edd: Okay. Excellent. Boys: One, two, three...

[the chest lands on the barrels]

Boys: Th-Three! Three! Ohh! Three!

Audience with BLU Soldier
[cut at night, showing the half moon]

Martin Kratt: Uh, you ready? Ah, okay. One more. Let's go. Boys: One, two, three!

[they hear a fly buzzing and a wind whistling]

Chris Kratt: Excuse us. Matt: Okay. We're outta here. Chris Kratt: Who ordered the, uh, pickles? [the men lock Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt]

Edd and Matt: Blu Soldier! BLU Soldier: My crew was chosen as carefully as the Disciples of Christ, and I will not tolerate stowaways. You will be flogged. And when we put in to Cuba to resupply, *God willing*, you will be flogged some more. And then enslaved on the sugar plantations for the rest of your miserable lives. To the brig! Edd: All right! Cuba.

[the guard carries Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt to the brig]

Planning an Escape
[then cut to the ships, then the man whistles, carrying apples to Spirit, chuckling, then nickering]

Man: Hey, Spirit! Ah-ta-ta, not for you! You're on half rations. Orders from Soldier.

[the apple drops on Edd, gasps, then Edd and Matt looks at Chris banging on the wall]

Matt: So, uh, how's the... How's the escape plan coming? Martin Kratt: All right. All right. Wait! We're getting something. Edd: Yeah. Chris Kratt: [continues banging his head on the wall] Okay! Here's the plan. In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions... Edd: Mm-hm. Chris Kratt: ...hijack one of those longboats, and then we row back to United States like there's no manana! Matt: Back to United States, yeah? Chris Kratt: Yeah? Edd: In a rowboat. Martin Kratt: You got it! Matt: Great. Sensational. And that-that's your plan, is it? Martin Kratt: That's pretty much it. Edd: Well, I like it. So, how do we got on deck? Chris Kratt: Umm. In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those longboats... Edd: Uh, great. Chris Kratt: Well, okay, what's your idea, smart guys? Matt: What do you mean? Don't ask us that! You're the one with the plans.

He’s a Dumb Horse
[they hear Spirit whinnying]

Edd: Wait, I... I have an idea. Uh, come on. Give me. Give me a boost. [holds the apple] Hey, Spirit.

[they toss the apple back and forth]

Edd: Spirit. You want a nice apple? Come and get it.

[Spirit walks to Edd and Matt]

Edd: You have to do a trick for me first.

[Spirit shakes his head]

Edd: All you have to do is find a pry bar. A long piece of iron with a hooky thing at the end. Got it? Chris Kratt: Edd, you're talking to a horse! Edd: That's it, Spirit, find the pry bar. Martin Kratt: Yes, find the pry bar. He can't understand "pry bar." He's a dumb horse. There's no way...

[Spirit drops the keys in the brig, then they look down]

Chris Kratt: Well, it's not a pry bar.

Lost at Sea
[cut at night, closing the top, then Edd and Matt walks backwards, then Martin and Chris takes the bag and barrel, then Spirit taps Edd]

Edd: Oh, Spirit. Oh, thank you, old boy. Listen, if we can ever return the favor...

[Spirit sniffs at Edd and Matt]

Chris Kratt: For Pete's sake, Edd, he's a ruthless warhorse, not a poodle. Martin Kratt: Yeah, Come on, before he licks you to death. Matt: [to Spirit] Adios.

[Spirit whines, then he goes in a boat, then he looks in a boat]

Matt: Shh, shh. Shh. Quiet, please. Martin Kratt: What's the matter with him? Edd: Oh, he wants his apple. Well, give it to him before he wakes the whole ship! Chris Kratt: Fetch! [throws an apple at Spirit, bouncing on the curtain, the pole, the telescope, then the apple splashes in the water, then Spirit dives in the water to try to get the apple] Edd and Matt: Spirit! Chris Kratt: Huh? Edd, Matt!

[Edd and Matt dives in the water, then the boat lands in the water]

Matt: Spirit, We're coming! Martin Kratt: Edd, Matt! Just hang on! Edd: I'm right here, old boy! Chris Kratt: Have you lost your mind? Matt: Help is coming! Chris Kratt: [gasping, seeing a ship] Holy ship!

[the ship knocks Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, splashing in the water, then they all gasp, then the crate breaks]

Chris Kratt: Loop the rope under the horse! Edd: Yes! [takes an inhale, swimming underwater, grabbing Martin and Chris] Martin Kratt: On the count of three, pull back on the rope. Matt: What? [gasping] Martin Kratt: Three!

[the ship splashes on Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt]

Chris Kratt: Pull!

[Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt fall in the water, then they hold on the crate]

Edd: Martin, Chris! Hey, it worked!

[they climb on the boat]

Martin Kratt: Did any of the supplies make it? Matt: Well, uh, yes and no.

[Spirit eats the carrot]

Chris Kratt: Oh, GREAT! Edd: Chris. Look on the positive side. At least things can't get...

[they hear a clap of thunder, and it starts pouring rain]

Martin Kratt: Excuse us. We're you going to say "worse"? Edd: No. Chris Kratt: No? Matt: No. Martin Kratt: You're sure? Edd: Absolutely not. I've revised the whole thing. Chris Kratt: Okay, because... Yeah, we're at least in a rowboat. Matt: We're in a rowboat, exactly. You miss nothing.

[they all look at the shark fins, then they continue rowing, then hearing a clap of thunder, with waves moving, then they hear a seagull, then the seagull lands on a paddle, coughing, laying down, then they smack their lips, then the shark eats the seagull on a paddle, then they all sob, then cut to evening, then they continue rowing the boat]

Last Regrets
Edd: Chris, did you ever imagine it would end like this? Chris Kratt: The horse is a surprise. Matt: Any regrets? Martin Kratt: Besides dying? Yeah. We never had enough gold. Matt: My regret, besides dying, is our greatest adventure is over before it began, and no one will even remember us. Chris Kratt: Well, if it's any consolation, Matt, you made their life an adventure. [sobbing] Edd: And if it's any consolation, Chris... [sniffles his nose] ...you made my life rich.

[Spirit scoffs and sputters, then they both sob, then the boat lands on the sand, then they take their sands, dropping it, then Martin shakes his sand]

The Map To El Dorado
Edd: Is it? Chris Kratt: Hmm. It is! Martin Kratt: It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... All: It's land!

[they all get out of the boat, then they lick the sand, then Edd kisses a skull with a sword on it, then they all scream, then Spirit whinnies]

Chris Kratt: All in favor of getting back in the boat, say "aye." Edd and Matt: Aye! Martin and Chris Kratt: Aye! Martin Kratt: Go!

[Spirit nickers, they they walk to a boat, then Edd and Matt walks to an ocean]

Matt: Edd, Look!

[Edd looking at it, grabbing a map, looking at it, looking at the parrot stone]

Chris Kratt: Hey, Edd! Matt! We could use a little help! Martin Kratt: Edd! Matt! Hello! Edd: Guys! We've done it! Chris Kratt: What's that? The map? Matt: It's all right here! Chris Kratt: You two still have the map? Edd: The whistling rock! The stream! Martin Kratt: You kept the map, but you couldn't grab a little more food? Matt: Even those mountains. You said so yourself: It could be possible. Edd: And it is! It really is... Edd and Matt: the map to El Dorado! [panting] Martin Kratt: [to Edd and Matt] You drank seawater, didn't you? Matt: Oh, come on! Chris Kratt: We're not coming on! We wouldn't set foot in that jungle for a million pesetas! Edd: How about a hundred million? Martin Kratt: What? Edd: I just sought that, after all, since El Dorado is the city of gold. Chris Kratt: What's your point? Matt: You know, dust, nuggets, bricks, a temple of gold where you can pluck gold from the very walls. But you don't want to go, so let's get back to the boat and row back to United States. After all, it worked so well last time. Martin Kratt: [gibberish] Wait! Mmm. Wait a minute. New plan. We find the city of gold. We take the gold, and then we go back to United States. Edd: And buy United States! Chris Kratt: Yeah! Matt: That's the spirit! Edd: [grabs the sword] Come on, Guys. We'll follow that trail! Chris Kratt: What trail? Edd: [chopping the vines] The trail that we blaze!

[the vines fall down, revealing a rock, long pause]

Edd: That trail that we blaze!

The Trail We Blaze
[the music begins "The Trail We Blaze" by Tom Jones playing]

Martin Kratt: [grabs a leash] Oh, no, you don't.

[Spirit bites Martin's butt]

Martin Kratt: YEOW! Your horse bit me in the butt!

[the snake hisses at Jerry Mouse, chopping the snake, then they walk down, pointing right]

Narrator: Look out new world here we come Brave, intrepid and then some

Matt: Charge!

[Spirit rides down, stopping by Martin and Chris, then Chris grabs a map by Edd, looking at the map]

Narrator: Pioneers of maximum Audacity whose resumes Show that we are just the team To live where others merely dream

Chris Kratt: What are you looking at? [looks at Jerry]

Narrator: Building up a head of steam On the trail we blaze

[Spirit carries Martin and Chris, riding down, going to the bird, then Edd looks at a map, then Martin and Chris walks away by Edd and Matt, chopping the leaves, then Martin and Chris jumps in the water, then Matt takes the bugs off of Chris, the Martin and Chris walks on the rocks, then the fish bites Chris' butt, running away, then Matt brings a fish to Martin and Chris]

Narrator: Changing legend into fact We shall ride into history Turning myth into truth We shall surely gaze On the sweet unfolding Of an antique mystery All will be revealed On the trail we blaze

Edd: Dinner is served.

Martin Kratt: Hello.

Narrator: Paradise is close at hand Shangri-la the promised land Seventh heaven on demand Quite unusual nowadays Virgin vistas, undefiled Minds and bodies running wild In the man behold the child On the trail we blaze The trail we blaze Is a road uncharted Through terra incognita to a golden shrine No place for the traveler To be faint-hearted We are part of the sumptuous grand design Changing legend into fact We shall ride into history Turning myth into truth We shall surely gaze on the sweet unfolding Of an antique mystery All will be revealed

[Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt jump in the water, then the monkey looks at Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt in the water, then the monkeys put clothes on, then the monkey puts his pants on, then the monkeys run away, then they get out, running away to try put the clothes back on, the the monkeys wave at Martin, Chris, Edd, Matt and Spirit, after they put clothes back on, then they look around, then they walk on a log, then they hear a thunderclap, starting to pour rain, then they ride down, leaping on stones, then Edd looks at a map, then Chris grabs a map, then they walk down, then the butterflies fly out, then they all walk up, then walking down, then the wood breaks, then they all fall down, then Jerry falls down, hitting the stone, then the map lands on Martin and Chris, looking at it, looking around]

Narrator: On the trail we blaze

Great Big ROCK
Chris Kratt: Hmm. [scratches the stone] Edd. Matt, wake up. Martin Kratt: We're there. Edd: We found it? Chris Kratt: Oh, yeah. We found it. Matt: Oh! Fantastic! Where is it? How far? Martin Kratt: Right here! Edd: Where? Martin Kratt: Here. Matt: Behind the rock? Chris Kratt: No, no. This is it. Edd: [stammering, grabbing a map] Give me that! This ca... What? Chris Kratt: Apparently, "El Dorado" is native for "great, big, ROCK!" [echoing] ''Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock!'' Hey, but I tell you what, I'm feeling generous, so you two can have our share! Matt: You don't think Soldier could've gotten here before us, and... Martin Kratt: And what? Taken all the really big rocks? The scoundrel! Edd: Martin, you... We have to think about this. We've come all this way, and we should really, you know... Chris Kratt: Get on the horse!

[Edd sighs]

Chris Kratt: No, no, no, not with the face. [picks Edd up] Stop. Martin Kratt: [clears throat] Looks like there's a pass right over there.

Welcome To El Dorado
Starlight Glimmer: Come on!

[ Twilight and Starlight runs up to Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, bumping to Spirit, then Spirit walks backwards, then the guards run up, then they gasp]

Both: Hyah!

[the guards stop by Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, then Spirit snorts, then Twilight and Starlight throws a rock to Martin and Chris, then Martin and Chris throws a rock to Twilight and Starlight, then throwing the rock back and forth]

Chris Kratt: [chuckling] We've...

[the rock hits Chris]

Chris Kratt: Uh, hello. Is this your rock? Sorry. We were just looking. We're, uh... We're tourists! Tourist. [clears throat] We lost our group. May we go now?

[ Kronk points at Chris and Martin, gasping]

Martin Kratt: [chuckling] Spears.

[Kronk points the spear, then the guards follow by Kronk, Jerry looks at the stone, then the guard takes the rock to Twilight and Starlight]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey! Hey!

[Jerry looks at the guards, looking at the guards, then Kronk walks in the waterfall, then they walk in the cave, then they get off of Spirit, then they walk in the boat, then Twilight and Starlight sits in the boat, then Matt whistles, then the rocks fall down, then they look at the vines, gasping, then they all look at the light, gasping]

Edd: Oh, my... It's... It's...

All: [whispering] El Dorado.

[the boats continue riding down, with butterflies flying up, then Matt looks at the fish, then Spirit puts a tail in the boat, then a boy walking with a woman with a pot, dropping it, then Jerry swims in a backstroke, then the boat arrives at the building, with a man running in the building, then cut to Maui, with a man whispering at Maui, then Kronk walks in a building by Facilier, chanting, then Kronk whispers to Facilier, pushing Kronk]

Meeting Maui & Facilier
[then cut back to Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, walking up to the building]

Martin Kratt: Well, it was nice working with you, partner. Edd: Martin, Chris, I just want you to know. We're sorry about that girl in Barcelona. Chris Kratt: So... You... You, f... Facilier: BEHOLD! As the prophesies foretold, the time of judgement is now!

[they all gasp, then Maui walks by Facilier]

Facilier: Citizens, did I not predict that the gods would come to us?

[they all look around]

Matt: Hmm. Facilier: [chuckling] My lords, I am Facilier, your devoted high priest and speaker for the gods. Martin Kratt: Hey. Chief Maui: I am Chief Maul. What names may we call you? Edd: Huh? I am Edd. Matt: I am Matt. Martin Kratt: I am Martin. Chris Kratt: And I am Chris. Edd: [gets off of Spirit, getting tangled up by the foot] And they call us Edd, Matt, Martin and Chris! Facilier: Your arrival has been greatly anticipated. Chief Maui: My lords, how long will you be staying in El Dorado?

[Twilight and Starlight looks up]

Facilier: Aha! [grabs Twilight and Starlight] I see you've captured this temple-robbing thieves. [takes Twilight and Starlight] How would you have us punish the girls? Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Starlight Glimmer: My lord, We are not a thief. Twilight Sparkle: See, the gods sent us vision to bring them tribute from the temple to guide them here. Starlight Glimmer: My only wish is to serve the gods.

[Facilier continues holding Twilight and Starlight]

Chris Kratt: Release the girls, don't ya think? Facilier: [lets go of Twilight and Starlight] Then you two will begin by returning this to its rightful place.

Don’t upset the Gods
[Jerry climbs out of the water]

Chief Maui: My lords, why now do you choose to visit us? Facilier: Enough! You do not question, the gods! Matt: That's right! Do not question us, or we shall have to unleash our awesome and terrible power! Edd: And you don't want that! Facilier: WELL, YES! WE DO! Matt: You do? Facilier: OF COURSE WE DO! VISIT YOUR WRATH UPON THIS NONBELIEVER! SHOW US THE TRUTH OF YOUR DIVINITY! Martin Kratt: Divinity! One moment.

[they all walk down]

Chris Kratt: Edd, Matt, you know that little voice people have that tells them to quit when they're ahead? You don't have one! Edd: Well, We're sorry. I just got carried away! Martin Kratt: Way away! Matt: Maybe we should tell the truth and then beg for mercy. Chris Kratt: Are you nuts? We'd be butchered alive! Edd: Yes, but they're getting suspicious. And if we don't come up with some mega-cosmic event...

[the volcano continues rumbling, then erupting]

Chris Kratt: I'm trying! I'm trying! I can't think with all these distractions! Matt: You... Horse... Think horse. Think, think, think. I'm on the verge of... Chris Kratt: STOP! [echoing] Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

[the smoke goes back in the volcano, then coughing, then they gasp, then they look around, then they put their hands out, then they all chant]

Edd: [to Kronk] Don't make us start it up again, 'cause we will.

[Kronk bows down, then they walk to Facilier, bowing down, then Chief Maui bows down]

Facilier: O mighty lords! Come. Let me show you to your temple. Matt: All right! Temple. Facilier: [to Maui] Step aside. [walks up the stairs]

Meet Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer
[they all walk up the stairs, then they walk in the building, then Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt climb up, then Maui and Facilier look at Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, then Spirit climbs up, then they open a curtain, then they bow, then they go in]

Facilier: To commemorate your arrival, I propose a reverent ceremony at dawn. Chief Maui: Ah, then perhaps I could prepare a glorious feast for you tonight. Facilier: Which would you prefer? Matt: Both. Edd: Both. Chris Kratt: Both. Martin Kratt: Both. All: Both. Edd: Both is good. Chief Maui: My lords. Facilier: My lords.

[they both close the curtain]

Facilier: And so dawns the Age of the Dinosaur. Happy new year. [chuckling, walking away by Chief Maui]

[cut back to Tulio and Miguel]

Matt: Hey! Martin Kratt: Hey. Hey.

[Edd and Matt laughs, tapping Martin and Chris, then they laugh, then Spirit walks on the water]

Edd: Martin. Chris. They actually think we're gods. Chris Kratt: It's an entire city of suckers.

[Starlight and Twilight looks at Martin, Chris, Edd, Matt and Spirit]

Martin Kratt: We just have to keep this up long enough, to load up on the gold and then get the heck out of here! Edd: Martin, we'll be living like kings! Chris Kratt: The Kratt Brothers! Edd: Edd and Matt! Martin Kratt and Matt: Mighty and powerful... All: ...gods. Twilight Sparkle: Hello.

[they all gasp and whimper, then Twilight laughs]

Martin Kratt: Depart, mortal, before we strike you with a lightning bolt. Edd: [hums] Beware the wrath of the gods! Matt: Begone! [clicking sound] Starlight Glimmer: Save it for the high priest, honey. You're going to need it.

[Matt clicking sounds]

Chris Kratt: Matt, it's not working.

[Matt click sounds again]

Chris Kratt: Matt! We've been caught. Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no. Don't worry about us, boys. Starlight Glimmer: "My only wish is to serve the gods." Remember? Chris Kratt: How? Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you guys want the gold, then you don't want to get caught, right? You're going to need my help. Matt: What makes you think we need your help? Starlight Glimmer: "Ck-ck." Are you serious?

[Spirit whinnies]

Twilight and Starlight join in
Edd: I... What... We... Okay. So, uh, who are you? Martin Kratt: Yeah, uh, what's your angle? Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] No angle. We want in. Chris Kratt: In? Twilight Sparkle: On the scam. Martin Kratt: [chuckling] There's no scam! Why would you think there's a... [to Matt] Why? Starlight Glimmer: So we can get out. Matt: I thought the girls just said she wanted in? Chris Kratt: She wants in so the girls she can get out. Matt: Aha! Got it. Why? Twilight Sparkle: Think you're the only ones who dream of better things? Of adventure? You've got your reasons, and We've got ours. Let's not make it personal, okay? It's just business. Boys: Oh. Starlight Glimmer: So when you guys are ready to go back to wherever you cam from, We're going with you. Martin Kratt: [laughing] No! Don't think so.

[Edd coughs, then Chris whistles]

Twilight Sparkle: All right. Fine. After all, I'm sure you know the proper rituals for blessing a tribute, the holiest days on the calendar... Oh, and of course you know all about Xibalba. [chuckling] Okay? Good luck. [walks away by Martin and Chris] Starlight Glimmer: See you at the execution. Chris Kratt: [gibberish] Wait! Ho... Would you... Hold it. Twilight Sparkle: Deal? Chris Kratt: Hmm. Edd: Deal. Chris Kratt: [grabs Edd] Not yet. Let's just see how this works out. Starlight Glimmer: Uh-huh. Well, then I suppose that means you'll want these back? Martin Kratt: [grabs the dice] How'd you get those? Matt: Where was she keeping them? Twilight Sparkle: Call me, Twilight Sparkle. Starlight Glimmer: And Starlight Glimmer, your new partners. [walks away] Chris Kratt: Uh, that's partner-in-training. Twilight Sparkle: [grabs the blankets] Now put these on. Your public's waiting. [walks away by Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt]

[Martin and Chris takes the vest off, then Edd and Matt takes the shirt off]

Martin Kratt: [to Twilight] Do you mind? Twilight Sparkle: No. Oh! Oh! Oh! Right. Uh, excuse us.

[Edd takes his shoe off]

Starlight Glimmer: Bye. [closes the curtain]

Off Limits
Matt: Mm-mm-mmm! Maybe they should call this place "Twilight and Starlight Dorado". Chris Kratt: [chuckling] She's whoo... Whoa! She's in trouble! Wait a minute! Edd: What? Chris Kratt: The little voice. Remember the little voice? Just for a second imagine that you have one. Martin Kratt: What would it be saying about Twilight and Starlight?

[Edd and Matt purrs]

Martin Kratt: No. No. Listen. We are partners. Matt: We are partners. Chris Kratt: We have a plan, remember? Edd: Get the gold. Go back to United States. Chris Kratt: Yes! And we are pretending to be gods. Now, put Twilight and Starlight in the mix. Martin Kratt: What is the voice saying? Listen, carefully. Matt: Twilight and Starlight is off-limits, hmm? Martin Kratt: Bravo! Twilight and Starlight is off-limits! [to Edd and Matt] Shake on it. Off-limits. Edd: Mm. Mm. All: Mmmm. Matt: Besides, we're supposed to be gods. We must avoid giving in temptation. Chris Kratt: Gods. Oh. This is going to be tougher than I thought. Edd: Chris, relax! Matt: All you have to do is smile, act godly and follow our lead.

It’s Tough To Be A God
[Martin and Chris gasps]

Chief Maui: Big smile. Like you mean it. A-one, two, three.

["It's Tough to Be a God" begins]

Chris Kratt: ♪ I hardly think We're qualified. To come across all sanctified. We just don't cut it with the cherubim. ♪

[the baby bites Chris' finger]

Edd: Chris, what are you talking about? Matt: ♪ There again, they're on their knees. Being worshipped is a breeze. ♪ Edd: ♪ Which rather suits us in. ♪ Edd and Matt: ♪ The interim. ♪ Martin and Chris Kratt: ♪ Interim, interim, it's us and them. ♪ Oh, my God! All: ♪ It's tough to be a god! ♪ Martin and Chris Kratt: ♪ Tread where mortals have not trod. Be deified when really you're a sham!♪

[Spirit bites the fruit]

Chris Kratt: ♪ Be an object of devotion, be the subject of psalms! ♪ Edd: ♪ It's a rather touching notion! All those prayers and those salaams! ♪ Martin Kratt: ♪ And who are we to bridle? If I'm forced to be an idol? If they say that we're a god. That's what we are! ♪ Chris Kratt: ♪ What's more if we don't comply, with the locals' wishes, I can see us being sacrificed. Or stuffed. ♪ Matt: You have a point there. Very good thinking. Edd: ♪ So let's be gods! The perks are great! ♪ Martin Kratt: Yeah! Edd: ♪ El Dorado on our plates. ♪ Chris Kratt: Thank you. Matt: ♪ Local feelings should not be rebuffed. ♪ Martin and Chris Kratt: ♪ Never rebuffed. I never rebuff a local feeling. No, my friends. ♪ All: ♪ It's tough to be a god! But if you get the people's nod! Count your blessings! Yeah, keep 'em sweet! That's our advice! ♪ Edd: It's great advice! All: ♪ Be a symbol of perfection! Be a legend, be a cult! Take their praise, take a collection! As the multitudes exalt! ♪ Matt: ♪ Don a supernatural habit! ♪ Martin Kratt: ♪ We'd be crazy not to grab it! ♪ Matt: You got it! All: ♪ So sign on four new gods for paradise! Paradise! ♪

[they both tap their cups, then Maui dances with the group, then Spirit dances, laying down on the ground, fade to black.]

Facilier’s Tribute
[then cut to Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt sleeping, then Facilier appears, then they all gasp]

Facilier: Good morning, my lords! Edd: He's back! Martin Kratt: Oh, no. Facilier: And now it's my turn! THE GODS HAVE AWAKENED! [echoing]

[they all cheer, then Martin and Chris falls to the ground]

Chris Kratt: Mm-hmm.

[Starlight and Twilight throws flower petals on the ground]

Martin Kratt: Hey, Twilight, Starlight, what's going on? Starlight Glimmer: It's not gonna be good. Chris Kratt: Thank you. Facilier: This city has been granted a great blessing. And what have we done to show our gratitude? A meager celebration. THE GODS DESERVE A PROPER TRIBUTE!

[the woman reveal a bag, then they shake their head]

Facilier: The beginning of a new era, the dawning of a new age, demands, sacrifice!

[the bag reveals a man, then they all gasp]

Chris Kratt: We don't like this. Martin Kratt: I know. Matt: Martin, Chris, we've got to do something.

[Facilier pushes the man, raising his axe]

Chris Kratt: STOP! This is not a proper tribute! Facilier: You do not want the tribute? Edd: No. No, no. We want tribute. Uh, it's just that, uh... Chris, tell him. Chris Kratt: The stars are not in position for this tribute! Edd: Like he says, the stars... Can't do it. Not today. Facilier: Ah. Perhaps it is impossible I misread the heavens. Matt: Don't worry about it. To err is human, to forgive... Hmm.

To Xibalba
Chief Maui: My lords, may the people of El Dorado offer you our tribute. [points at the women natives carrying gold]

[Martin and Chris gasps, looking at the people holding gold]

Chief Maui: My lords, does this please you?

[Martin and Chris sighs]

Edd: Yes, very nice. Martin Kratt: Certainly acceptable. Matt: Yes, lovely. It'll do. Chief Maui: The gods have chosen! To Xibalba?

[the crowd murmur]

Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer: No. No. All: To Xibalba! Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no. Starlight Glimmer: Great. Crowd: [chanting] Xibalba! Xibalba!

[the woman throws gold in the whirlpool, then they look at the gold falling in the whirlpool]

Edd: Hey, Twilight, um, what are they doing? Twilight Sparkle: They're sending it Xibalba, the spirit world.

[the gold continues falling the whirlpool]

Chris Kratt: The spirit world. Starlight Glimmer: We'll take care of it. Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat] Um, excuse us, Chief. The gods have changed their minds about Xibalba. Starlight Glimmer: They wish to bask in the reverence that has been shown them. Chief Maui: STOP!

[they all stop throwing gold in the whirlpool, then a gold plate rolls towards the cliff by Chris, and stops it with his foot]

Chief Maui: They wish to bask! Take the tribute to the gods' temple!

[Twilight and Starlight walks by Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt]

Martin Kratt: Nice going.

[they all walk in, then Maui chuckles]

Facilier: Smile while you can.

BLU Soldier’s Arrival
[cut to Blu Soldier, breaking a skull]

BLU Soldier: [looking around] Well, well, well, what have we here? [evil chuckle]

Talking To Maui
[cut back to El Dorado]

Martin Kratt: Ai-ai-ai. Edd and Matt: ♪ Tons of gold for you, hah! ♪ Martin and Chris Kratt: ♪ And tons of gold for us, hoo! ♪ All: ♪ And tons of gold for we, ah! ♪ Chris Kratt: Not bad for a day's work, eh? Edd: Not bad at all. Chris Kratt: Yeah. We just became richer than the king of America. [laughing] Matt: You know, speaking of kings, the chief and the high priest seem a bit, uh, tense. Martin Kratt: Buenos Dias! Listen, all we have to do is keep playing the one against the other. You know, do a little god dance, chant some mystic mumbo jumbo, dazzle 'em with some smoke and mirrors and then get back to United States. Edd: Um, Martin, how are we gonna get all this back to United States? Martin Kratt: Ummm... Chief Maui: A boat? Chris Kratt: Yeah. Matt: Um, we really hate to be ascending so soon, but, uh, some urgent business has come up, family matters, you know, and it's just a bit... Martin Kratt: Yeah, family. Edd: Badda-bing, budda-boom, you know what I mean? Chief Maui: Oh, we expected you to be staying with us for the next thousand years. Chris Kratt: Well, as we say in the spirit world, there's your plan and then, there's the gods' plan. Edd: Mm-hmm. Chris Kratt: And our plan, uh, calls for a boat, 'cause we're gonna ascend kind of in a horizontal pattern at first.

[Matt chuckles]

Chris Kratt: And then we're gonna go vertical, uh, as we get further out to sea. Chief Maui: Hmm. To build a boat large and glorious enough, would take about a week. Martin Kratt: A week? Hmm. Matt: Um... Chris Kratt: Uh, I wonder how long it would take Facilier to do it. Chief Maui: But for the gods, uh, three days. Chris Kratt: Uh... Edd: Well, if that's the best you can do. Chief Maui: Oh, perhaps if you were not burdened with so much tribute, you could leave sooner. Edd: Hmm? Martin Kratt: Hmm? We like it here. Matt? Matt: Yep, yep. Three days is just fine.

Twilight and Starlight Covers For Edd and Matt
Chris Kratt: [throws gold up] No, three days is not fine. This is a real... Twilight Sparkle: Mmm. Chris Kratt: ...these, these are the ones... Twilight Sparkle: Oh, thank you. Chris Kratt: ...problem. Martin Kratt: [to Edd and Matt] Matt, how are we gonna keep this up for three days? Matt: [yawning] You worry too much. Chris Kratt: No, I worry exactly the right amount. You can never worry too much. We just have to lie low. Edd: But, Guys, this place is amazing! I mean, I wonder what's... Chris Kratt: No! Don't even move! Edd: Chris... Chris Kratt: You're moving! Edd: A little bit, but, just... Chris Kratt: Hey! Hey! Hey! Edd: Come on. Chris Kratt: [stammering] Stay! Edd: I gotta... I... I just... Chris Kratt: [groans] Just stand there! Edd: For three days? [falls down, clattering] Chris Kratt: Yes! Exactly. For three days. Don't even breathe. All right? Edd: [shakes his shirt] All right. We lie low. Chris Kratt: No, ah, ah, ah, ah. Promise? Edd: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, all right. Chris Kratt: Great! Good. Okay. Martin Kratt: Now, if you'll excuse us, We have to gloat over our gold.

[Twilight giggles, then Martin and Chris kisses the gold]

Martin Kratt: Oh, yum, yum, yum. Starlight Glimmer: [walks by Edd and Matt] It's beautiful, isn't it? Edd: Yeah! Twilight Sparkle: You know, you really shouldn't miss it. Matt: I know. But we couldn't. Starlight Glimmer: You two go ahead. We'll cover for you. Edd: Oh, good. Thanks. [walks away by Twilight and Starlight] Matt: So, what happened to Spirit? Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. Matt: Edd, come on. Edd: I'll right behind you. Martin and Chris Kratt: ♪ Kratt Brothers goes for paradise! ♪ Martin Kratt: Hey, what happened to Edd and Matt? Starlight Glimmer: I don't know. Chris Kratt: [drops the gold] Oh, my God! '''THEIR'S GONE! EDD AND MATT'S GONE! THEIR'S LOOSE! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? Oh, no, no! [sobbing] Twilight Sparkle''': Oh, Edd is right. You worry too much. Chris Kratt: [groaning] Oh. Ooh. [moaning] Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, down, down, down, down.

[Starlight and Twilight hums]

Martin Kratt: No! No! Big trouble. [gets up] Big trouble. [chuckling] Whoa! Look, sweetheart, we're in the middle of a con here, walking the razor's edge. Chris Kratt: On the one hand, gold! On the other hand, painful, agonizing failure! [clears throat] I can't afford any tempta... uh, distractions. So, We're sorry. So sorry. [takes a sharp inhale] But perhaps another time? Another place, hmm? Starlight Glimmer: [chuckling] Too bad. We're free now. Martin Kratt: We're not really sure I trust both of you. Twilight Sparkle: I'm not really asking you to trust both of us. Are we? Martin Kratt: Whoo. 'Kay. [rubs Starlight, moaning] Ooh, yeah.

Edd and Matt is laying low
[cut to Edd and Matt, walking down, looking at the birds, then looking at the people running, then walking to Kronk]

Edd: [to Kronk] Excuse me. Excuse me? Hey, where is everybody? Kronk: They've been cleared for the streets, my lords, so the city can be cleansed, as you ordered. Matt: Cleansed? Kronk: Yes. So the Age of the Dinosaur can begin, as you ordered, my lords.

Man: Get back in! Where are you going?

Edd: Hey! Hey, stop that!

Man: Move!

Edd: Hey, stop that! Matt: What are you doing? Stop that! Kronk: But, my lords, anyone who disobeys your orders must be punished, as your ordered. Edd: It seems I've been giving a lot of orders, haven't we? Kronk: Facilier has made your commands clear, my lords. Matt: Really? Here's an order: Take the day off.

Man: Huh?

Edd: Are you all right?

[the man pants]

Edd: Here.

[the man hands the gold]

Matt: Oh, no! It's all right, please.

[the man runs away by Edd and Matt, then tripping on the wood, with instruments falling down]

Without Question
Matt: Is that what we think it is? Edd: I'll played.

[then Edd plays the guitar]

Matt: Hey, Spirit. There you are.

[the kids gasp, then playing the guitar, then the kids watch Edd playing a guitar, then they chuckle, then the men watch Edd playing a guitar, then the music begins "Without Question" by Tom Jones playing, then taking a guitar to the man, then walking away, looking at the fish, looking at the people, then the men spin around, then Edd and Matt spins around, then the man takes a bowl to Edd and Matt, then feeding the birds, then the flamingo eats the bird feed, then walking down on a turtle, then putting a domino on the floor, then knocking the dominoes down, revealing the sun, running away, looking at Spirit, with a brown ball passing at Edd and Matt, then the kids play with a brown ball, looking at the children, throwing a brown ball up, then the children play with a ball, taking it to Edd and Matt, then bouncing on the knee, and the butt, then they run down]

Narrator: The more I learn, the more I see The less the world impassions me The hungry heart, the roving eye Have come to rest, do not apply The frantic chase, the crazy ride The thrill has gone, I step aside And I'd believe in anything were it not for you Showing me by just existing only this is true I love you, I love you without question, I love you And I'd believe in anything were it not for you Showing me by just existing only this is true I love you

[then Facilier and Kronk watch Edd and Matt and the children with a brown ball bouncing on his knee]

Facilier: [looks at a book] Hmm. This is not what I expected. Perhaps Lord Martin and Chris will enlighten me. [puts the book away, chuckling, licking on his tongue, smearing on the head] How do I look? Kronk: Oh, uh... Well, you... Facilier: Oh, shut up.

Facilier audience With Martin and Chris
Chris Kratt: [gasping] Oh! Whoa! Facilier: My lords?

[they get up]

Facilier: Hello? Starlight Glimmer: [puts Martin and Chris down] The high priest. Martin Kratt: Ow! Twilight Sparkle: What's he gonna think if he finds two of the gods like this with us? Chris Kratt: Uh, lucky god? Twilight Sparkle: Just... [shakes Chris] Facilier: Hello?

[Starlight kicks Martin and Chris, then Twilight and Starlight hides down]

Martin Kratt: Oh, Facilier! What brings you here? Facilier: I humbly request an audience with you, my lords. Chris Kratt: Lords, yes, what can I do for you? Facilier: My lords, I have just seen Lord Edd and Matt out among the people. Martin Kratt: Really? Facilier: If I may be so bold as to offer some advice. Martin Kratt: All right. Shoot. Facilier: [clears throat] My lords, you two are perfect. Chris Kratt: Oh, well. Go on. Facilier: But in your perfection, you cannot know how imperfect humans are. Like snakes they are. Spineless and slippery. They are as untrustworthy as rats, stealing and cheating with no remorse. [eats a pear, spitting out] Spinning webs of lies, LIKE SPIDERS! [grabs a spider] Martin Kratt: Stop it! That's disgusting. Facilier: They're beyond disgusting! Martin Kratt: Yeah, yeah, way beyond. Facilier: Then we're in agreement. I'll begin the necessary preparations immediately. Now, do you wish to have your victims bound to an altar, or would you prefer them free-range?

[Martin and Chris mutters]

Facilier: And will you be devouring their essence whole, or piece by piece? Chris Kratt: Facilier, you lost us. Facilier: My lords, these people will not respect you if they do not fear you. Martin Kratt: And, of course, we'll make them fear us by... Facilier: A sacrifice, as it is prophesied. The history of the Age of the Dinosaur will be written in... Chris Kratt: Ink? Facilier: Blood! Chris Kratt: Blood! Oh, right. Of course. I should probably consult with Lord Edd and Matt. This is fairly important stuff. I, um, should discuss the entire, uh, blood issue right away. Excuse us, won't you? Let's go.

[they all walk down]

Facilier: [chuckling] Finally, we're connecting.

Change of Plan
[cut back to Blu Soldier and the guards, looking at the bird shape]

BLU Soldier: [to the guards] This way.

[cut back to El Dorado, playing with the ball, running to Edd and Matt]

Chris Kratt: [the ball hits on his head] What do you think you're doing? Edd: [chuckling] Lying low. Chris Kratt: [grunting] Martin Kratt: Look, change of plans. We have to grab what we can carry and get out of here now! Matt: What? Why? Chris Kratt: Because the high priest is nuts! He wants... Facilier: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! Martin Kratt: Yeah. Yeah. Like he said. Facilier: THE GODS SHOULD NOT BE PLAYING BALL LIKE THIS! Chris Kratt: Well, exactly! Facilier: THIS IS HOW THE GODS SHOULD PLAY BALL!

[they all cheer, then they hear a horn]

Edd: Well, don't blame us. Chris Kratt: [to Edd and Matt] We blame you.

[they all cheer]

Martin Kratt: What is the object of this game, pray tell? Twilight Sparkle: You've gotta knock the ball through the hoop. Chris Kratt: What hoop? Twilight Sparkle: That hoop.

[they all look at the hoop]

Martin Kratt: That's impossible. We're gonna lose. Starlight Glimmer: Gods don't lose.

Play Ball
[Facilier snaps his fingers, then the men run up]

Men: Heep-ha! Facilier: My lords, Chief Maui's warriors are the finest ballplayers in the city. Fifteen mere mortals against four gods.

[they both gulp]

Facilier: I realize it's a bit uneven... Men: Heep-ha! Facilier: ...but I do hope they'll challenge you enough to make the game interesting. PLAY BALL!

[the crowd cheer, then Facilier puts a brown ball on the ground]

Facilier: Crush them into the dust. [chuckling] Enjoy. Crowd: [chanting] Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

[the men run up to Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, kicking the brown ball, dodging the brown ball]

Twilight Sparkle: D'oh. D'oh.

[the men watch the brown ball bounce]

Facilier: My lords, were you supposed to put the ball into play? Chris Kratt: Ohh! Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We were merely demonstrating the, um, traditional, uh, first avoidance maneuver. Facilier: Ah. I've never heard such a thing. Edd: Excuse me. Who invented this game? Facilier: Why the gods... [chuckling] ...of course. Martin Kratt: We're warning you, don't push your luck with this guy. Matt: But, Martin, we're the gods. [throws a brown ball at the men, then kicking the ball, knocking their butts, hitting the wall] Starlight Glimmer: Guys! The hip! The hip!

[Chris knocks the ball, hitting the wall]

Martin Kratt: [panting] This is impossible.

[the man kicks the brown ball in the hoop, then they cheer, blowing the horn, then they groan, putting the gold on]

Edd: Excuse us? Men: Heep... Haaa!

[the man puts another gold on]

Men: Heep-ha! Heep-ha! Heep-ha! Heep-ha!

[the men run by Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, then they both groan, then they play with a ball, showing the gold, making it nine, then the men grab the brown ball]

Twilight Sparkle: FOUL! That was a foul!

[the men grab the brown ball, bouncing by Twilight and Starlight]

Warrior: [offscreen] New ball!

Cheating
[they atll pant]

Martin Kratt: How long does this go on anyway? Starlight Glimmer: The game is over when the shadow touches this line. Matt: We need a miracle. Chris Kratt: No, we need to cheat. [takes Jerry]

[the men try to grab Jerry, rolling around Edd and Matt, landing in the wheel]

All: Yes!

[the crowd cheer, then they hear a horn, then the men knock Jerry into the hoop]

Both: Huh?

[the men kick Jerry, then Chris kicks Jerry into the hoop, then Facilier claps]

Twilight Sparkle: Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[Martin kicks Jerry in the hoop]

All: Ole!

[Martin kicks Jerry into the hoop, then they kick their butts, kicking Jerry on the hoop, rolling around, bouncing back and forth]

Facilier: Hmm.

[the men stand up, showing the gold, because it's a tie]

Starlight Glimmer: Yes! [laughing] Edd: Who's the god? Martin Kratt: You de gods. [kicks Jerry] Matt: No, you the god. Chris Kratt: No, you de god. Edd: Fine.

[Jerry bounces in a ball bin, then Twilight takes a brown ball to Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt]

Starlight Glimmer: Yeah! Yeah!

[Jerry coughs, then the brown ball bounces by Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, then Spirit flies the brown ball to Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, pounding the ball on his hands]

Twilight Sparkle: Guys, it's here! It's right here with us!

[the brown ball hits Chris, then they gasp, hitting Edd, kicking the ball in the hoop, then they gasp, then they all gasp, then Jerry chitters, then they look at the brown ball in the hoop, then Spirit taps the wall, letting the brown ball fall down, then they all cheer, then blowing a horn]

Facilier: I love this game! [laughing] All: Yes!

[they knock their bodies]

Chris Kratt: Well done, partner. Twilight Sparkle: Yes! Yes!

Edd and Matt’s Commandment
Facilier: My lords, congratulations on your victory. And now, you will, of course, wish to have the losing team, sacrificed to your glory.

[the men bow down, groaning]

Matt: Not again. Look, Facilier... Martin Kratt: Uh, Matt? Matt: ...forget the sacrifices. Chris Kratt: Matt. Edd: We don't want any sacrifices. Facilier: But all of the sacred writings say that will you devour the wicked and the unrighteous. Matt: Well, I don't see anyone here who fits that description. Facilier: [scoffs] Well, as speaker for the gods, it would be my privilege to point them out. Edd: The gods are speaking for themselves now! This city and these people have no need for you anymore! Matt: [pushes Facilier] There will be no sacrifices! [stands the men up] Edd and Matt: Not now, not ever!

[the crowd cheer]

Edd: [to Facilier] Get out!

[Facilier gasps, then scoffs, then the crowd continue cheering, then Facilier gasps, then the eyebrow puts blood inside]

Facilier: Mmm. As the gods, command.

[the men grab Edd and Matt, then the men grab Martin and Chris]

Matt: Hey, not bad for our first commandment, huh? Martin Kratt: [laughing] Edd and Matt, the little voice... [stammering] Yeah, fine.

Gods Don't Bleed
[cut to Facilier and Kronk]

Facilier: Do you know why the gods demand blood? Kronk: I don't know. Facilier: [cuts the blood from his hand] Because gods don't bleed. [puts his hand on the stone, then the blood goes away] It's time to take the future into my own hands, and this city will be cleansed. Even if I have to do it myself. Kronk: Uh, how? Facilier: [grabs the book, grunting] There are dark magics here, and power, and... Ooh. My, my, my, my, my. It's not called the Age of the Dinosaur for nothing. [snickering, walking up, looking at the men building a boat] This'll be a delightful way to bid the false gods, good-bye.

Maui Offer Edd and Matt
[the man uses an ax to chop a log, then they continue chopping a log to build a boat, chopping a stone, then Edd and Matt looks at the stone] Chris Kratt: Adios, muchacho! [holds a flower to Starlight, then the birds fly away] [the man chops a hoof on Spirit, putting flowers on Spirit]

Edd: Well, it's, um, uh, nice. Chief Maui: Nice? Edd: Yes, nice. But? Um, but, uh, is it really fit for the gods? Chief Maui: My lord. Matt: [chuckling] We have been around boats, believe me, and that, um, the pointy, tall, um, the long up and down thing. Chief Maui: The mast? Matt: The mast, yes, yes. The mast is good. Well, look at it. [stammering] There's not nearly enough, uh, um, rope. Chief Maui: Rope? Matt: Yes, rope. Exactly my point. Vertical ascension requires a lot more, uh, rope. Chief Maui: My lords. [chuckling] Edd: And look at this. [grunting, tapping on the bloat, clears his throat] This doesn't look at all secure. Chief, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but in all, it is a complete do-over. [continues looking down] Chief Maui: Hmm. You know, Lord Edd and Matt, if you both wish to stay, you two only need to say so. Matt: You mean, forever? Chief Maui: Of course. Edd: [looks at a cave] Oh, no, We can't. We have to go back with Martin and Chris. We're... We're partners. Chief Maui: Big plans in the other world, huh? Edd: Yep. Big plans. Chief Maui: Well, then, I better go get some more rope, huh? Matt: Oh, Chief, um, forget about the rope. Um, my mistake. Chief Maui: Hey, to err is human.

[Edd and Matt looks at Maui, stepping in a boat, walking up the building]

Forget Edd and Matt, Forget Martin and Chris
Chris Kratt: [offscreen] Half? Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm. Chris Kratt: [laughing] I don't think so. I... I'll tell you what. Uh, We'll let you come back to United States with us, like you wanted, and, um, yeah, I can see my way clear to throwing you, mmm, ten percent? Starlight Glimmer: [chuckling] You know, maybe We won't go to United States with both of you and take a third. [grabs a plate] Martin Kratt: Ohh! Like you don't wanna go to United States. Twilight Sparkle: Oh, like you don't want us to want to go to United States. Chris Kratt: I want you to want... Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm? Chris Kratt: ...what you want. Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm. Go on. Chris Kratt: All right. Cards on the table. Uh, I want you to come to United States with us and Edd and Matt. Mostly us. Especially us. Only us. Forget Edd and Matt. Starlight Glimmer: Well, as long as that's what you want. Us too. Martin Kratt: Okay. Deal? Twilight Sparkle: [drops the plate] Deal. [kisses Chris]

[Spirit walks to Edd and Matt, gasping]

Edd: "Forget Edd and Matt"? [sniffling] Matt: Well, forget Martin and Chris. [walks down by Spirit]

[Spirit walks down by Edd and Matt]

Facilier release his Dinosaur
[then cut back to Facilier and Kronk, humming, then Kronk stirs it in a pot]

Facilier: Well, is it ready yet?

[Kronk scoops the bowl, blowing it, then taking the umbrella, putting it in, then Facilier takes the bowl, sniffing]

Facilier: [throws the bowl away] It seems to be missing something. [opens a book] Ah, that's it. It needs more body. [kicks Kronk into the water, flying backwards to a stone, laughing, transforming into a dinosaur, taking the claws out, then the dinosaur lands on the ground, breaking the stone] Do as I command!

Facilier Rampage
[cut to the kids]

Kid 1: The gods deserve a proper tribute. Kid 2: Stop! There will be no sacrifices!

Chris Kratt: [chuckling, holding a bowl with a lemon] That kid does you better than you do. Martin Kratt: [sighs] Some send-off, huh? We're finally at the "go back to America and live like kings" part.

[the children laugh, then Twilight puts the kid down]

Chris Kratt: Ooh-hoo-hoo. [drinking the bowl] Edd: Well, isn't king kind of a step down from god? Chris Kratt: [stops drinking and spits] What? Wh-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Edd, we can't stay here. [chuckling] We have a plan, remember? Matt: How about... we forget the plan? Hmm?

''[Martin is about to say "What?", but is interrupted as the animated dinosaur statue roars and breaks out of the temple. Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt all scream like girls]''

Facilier: [evil laughter] Now everyone will know the truth of your "divinity"!

[the dinosaur lands on the ground, with the people running away, screaming, then the men throw spears at the dinosaur, then grabbing a man, flying up, dropping the man]

Man: I'm okay!

[the foot squishes the man then he roaring]

Man: I'm still okay! Twilight Sparkle: Come on! Get on!

[they all get on Spirit, then the jaguar charges at Spirit, Martin, Chris, Edd, Matt, Twilight and Starlight, then they scream]

Martin Kratt: Spirit, hyah!

[the dinosaur continues charging at Spirit, Martin, Chris, Edd, Matt, Twilight and Starlight, breaking the wall, then they try to climb up, falling down on the dinosaur, breaking the glass eye, then the dinosaur knocks Martin, Chris, Edd, Matt, Twilight, Starlight, and Spirit]

Twilight Sparkle: CHRIS! Chris Kratt: Hey, over here, you big Facilier dino creep!

[they throw rocks at the dinosaur]

Martin Kratt: Spirit, get Twilight and Starlight out of here.

[Spirit carries Twilight and Starlight, roaring at Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, then they jump down, then the dinosaur lands on the ground, then they continue running away]

Chris Kratt: Duck!

[Facilier roars, breaking the stones, then they run down, the the rocks form the fire in the lava, touching the rock]

Edd: Whoa!

[they all gasp and yell, then the dinosaur sinks in a lava]

Martin Kratt: Move! Move!

[they all walk on the dinosaur]

Martin Kratt: Jump!

[they all lay down, then the dinosaur appears, then they both yell, running away to Xibalba, then they both walk to the cliff, trying not to fall in the whirlpool]

One last Act
[Facilier corners Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt on the edge of a cliff overlooking a cenote well with the animated stone dinosaur]

Facilier: I know what you are. And I know what you are not. And you are not GODS!  Chris Kratt: [to Edd and Matt, after an awkward silence] You-You're not a gods?! You lied to us?

[He clears his throat, urging Edd and Matt to play along, only to have Edd and Matt glare back at them]

Chris Kratt: [Gasps in surprise, then flings them towards Facilier, still keeping up the act] How dare you?! Edd: [Playing along with Chris and Martin, but reluctantly] Hey, it was they stupid plan! Facilier: [confused] What? Martin Kratt: Woah, woah, oh. Our plan was that we should lie low! But your plan was to run off and be all "Oh, look at us, look at us, I'm a god!" Matt: That's not true! Chris Kratt: No? Who are you kidding?! You're buying your own con! Matt: At least We're not dating ours! Chris Kratt: I- Ooh, low blow. Martin Kratt: Listen, Mr. High-and-Mighties, we'd both be sailing out of here with a mountain of gold if you had [smacks them in the back of the head] just listened to us!

[Facilier smirks in amusement]

Edd: Well, now you've got all the precious gold and the girls, so what do you need [smacks Martin back] us for?! Chris Kratt: Well, maybe we don't need you anymore! Edd: Well, then why don't you just go back to America, and we'll stay here, and we'll [shoves Chris] all get what we want?! Martin Kratt: [shoves Edd] That's fine with us, pal! Matt: [smacks Martin] Fine with me too! Facilier: [still amused] Ooh. Chris Kratt: [smacks Matt] Fine! Facilier: Ouch! Edd: [pushes Martin and hits Chris] Okay! Facilier: [chuckles]  All: All RIGHT! [all punch Facilier, knocking him down] Chris Kratt: Tie him up!

''[Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt tried to tie Facilier. When suddenly, Facilier roars at them.]''

Martin Kratt: What? Whoa...

[The dinosaur statue comes back alive, ready to eat Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt, They screaming in terror]

Chris Kratt: JUMP!

''[They all falls down when the vines are hanging on. The dinosaur jumps right in front of Facilier. Then cliff starting to break away. They screaming, Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt runs away from the cliff breaking. Then, breaking completely, Facilier and the dinosaur send into the whirlpool]''

Facilier: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

''[Facilier and stone dinosaur falls into the whirlpool. Facilier swimming around the whirlpool and goes straight towards the jungle. Moments later. Facilier gets out of the water, then hearing a sword clanging while Blu Soldier and the guards appear, then shuddering]''

Facilier: My lord.

[Facilier crawling on the water, then BLU Soldier puts the gun touches the earing]

BLU Soldier: Where did you get this?

[BLU Soldier lets go of the earing, Then, Facilier smiling at BLU Soldier]

Edd and Matt choose to stay
[cut back to Martin, Chris, Edd and Matt]

Martin Kratt: [chuckling] That was good, huh?

[Edd and Matt climbs up to the top, then the men cheer]

Chris Kratt: [climbs up] Hey, a little help, please? Edd: Chief Maui! Chief Maui! Matt: We've decided to stay. Chief Maui: Oh, this is wonderful news. What a glorious day for El Dorado. Lord Edd and Matt has decided to live among us! Twilight Sparkle: Martin! Chris! Is everything okay?

[they look at Edd and Matt]

Chris Kratt: Everything is fine.

Friends Never Say Goodbye
[cut to El Dorado, then the music begins "Friends Never Say Goodbye" by Tom Jones playing, looking around, walking by Edd and Matt, putting gold in the bag, looking at the map, ripping it, then Edd looks at a name, saying, "MARTIN AND CHRIS", knocking the statue, then tying the bag, hitting Edd, carrying a bag, the Edd and Matt puts a hat on, wrapping a blanket around him, then Edd and Matt continues walking away, then Edd and Matt walks by Martin and Chris, then Martin and Chris walks down, then Edd and Matt walks down, then walking to Maui, then they laugh, then Maui hugs Martin and Chris, then Maui shakes his hand, then Martin and Chris walks away, then Edd and Matt looks at Twilight and Starlight, then Twilight and Starlight kisses Edd and Matt, then Martin and Chris claps his hands]

Narrator: There isn't much I haven't shared With you along the road And through it all there'd always be Tomorrow's episode Suddenly that isn't true There's another avenue beckoning The great divide Ask no questions, take no side Who's to say who's right or wrong? Whose course is braver run? All I know is all we had Is over, said, and done Friends never say goodbye Never say goodbye

Narrator: Friends never say goodbye

Man: Take care. Child: We'll miss you! Chris Kratt: Thank you.

Narrator: Never say goodbye

[Spirit nickers at Martin and Chris, licking their fingers, then shaking it off, licking Martin and Chris, then Twilight and Starlight pushes Martin and Chris, then Maui, Edd and Matt walk up, then Martin and Chris dries his hair, then Twilight and Starlight walks away by Martin and Chris, then Twilight and Starlight walks to a boat, then Edd and Matt walks to Martin and Chris]

Narrator: Friends never say goodbye Never say goodbye

Matt: Well, good luck. Martin Kratt: Yeah. You too. [walks to Twilight and Starlight, then they climb up]

Narrator: Never say goodbye

Martin and Chris’ Plan
[Edd and Matt walks away by Spirit, then Spirit looks at Edd and Matt walking away]

Edd: Whoa. Whoa, boy, what is it?

[Spirit nickers, then they hear explosions, looking at Edd and Matt]

Edd and Matt: Blu Soldier. Chief Maui: My lords, what is it? Man: Chief Maui! Chief Maui! Approaching the city, is an army of strangers. Chief Maui: We are safe here. They'll never find the gate to the city. Man: But, sire, they are being led by Facilier. Chief Maui: He survived! Warriors, prepare yourselves for battle!

[they all shout]

Matt: Chief, you cannot fight them! Chief Maui: Then how can we stop them? Edd: We can't. Martin Kratt: [looks in the cave] Uh, one moment, please. [moves the gold away]

[Jerry drinks]

Chris Kratt: [takes the necklace out] Okay, here's the gate. Here's the boat. Starlight Glimmer: Uh-huh. And? Chris Kratt: Here's the gate. Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Chris Kratt: Here's the boat. Starlight Glimmer: Got that. And? Chris Kratt: Well, here's the "goat," and here's the "bate." Twilight Sparkle: Chris!

[Chris hits Jerry, who stops drinking his cup, spilling water out, knocking the necklace]

Martin Kratt: [gasping] That's it. We'll crash the boat into the pillars. Good thinking, Chris. Starlight Glimmer: That's it? I mean... But... [scoffs] What about the gold? Chris Kratt: Well... [sobbing, in a whinny voice] Chief! [clears throat, in a normal voice] Chief. We've got a plan. [the men throw rope to the villagers]

Chief Maui: Hold the line steady! They're almost in place!

[cut to Soldier and the guards, and Facilier]

BLU Soldier: It better be there, for your sake.

[Martin and Chris rows a boat, then Twilight shakes her head, looking at Edd and Matt]

Martin Kratt: Okay, chief, on my signal! Ready! HIT THE PILLARS! Chief Maui: NOW!

[the man uses a log to push and break the whole rocks, then Chris looks at the whole rocks breaking]

Chris Kratt: They're breaking too fast! Starlight Glimmer: Martin, the sail! Martin Kratt: [tires to pull the rope down] It's stuck!

[the men try to pull a statue, breaking the ropes, then they both shout, then Maui gasps, grabbing the ropes]

Edd and Matt leaves with Martin, Chris, Twilight and Starlight
Edd: They're not gonna make it. Matt: Spirit! [jumps on Spirit, running to the boat] Chris Kratt: Are you crazy?

[Edd, Matt and Spirit jump on the boat in slow motion, then they continue pulling, then flying in slow motion, grabbing the sail]

Chris Kratt: Get off the boat, Guys, or you'll never see the city again. Edd: I know. [takes the hat off] You don't think I'm gonna let you have all the fun, do you? Matt: Come on. We've got a wave to catch. [grabs a paddles to Martin and Chris] Martin Kratt: Aye, captain. Edd: [pointing to Maui]

[they all release the statue, then Edd and Matt yells, then Twilight and Starlight whimpers, then grabbing a lever]

Chris Kratt: Get out of the way! Matt: Huh? Twilight Sparkle: Huh?

[they duck, then Jerry runs on the gold]

Edd: Hold on!

[they all go in the cave, breaking the sail, then knocking the gold on the walls]

Martin Kratt: We're gonna have to hit it BROADSIDE! Edd: THAT'S YOUR PLAN? But the gold! Martin Kratt: I know!

[Starlight gasps]

Chris Kratt: JUST TURN THE BOAT!

[they all turn the boat]

Chris Kratt: On impact, EVERYBODY JUMP!

[the boat stops on a wall, then they all jump out of the boat, then they splash in the water, with rocks falling in the water]

BLU Soldier thinks Facilier’s Lying
[with waterfall spitting out, then they all cough]

Martin Kratt: [panting] We made it. It worked. Chris Kratt: [chuckling] It worked. Twilight Sparkle: Wait. Get down! [grabs Chris] Starlight Glimmer: [grabs Martin] There they are.

[they all look at Soldier and Facilier]

Facilier: [gasping, looking at the rocks] No. BLU Soldier: [walks to Facilier] You lying heathen. There's nothing here at all. Facilier: No. Wait. Wait. BLU Soldier: [pushes Facilier] Men, seize him! Facilier: WHAT?

[the men grab Facilier]

BLU Soldier: There is no El Dorado here. Onward, men.

[the guards continue taking Facilier away, gasping, then Twilight and Starlight waves]

Facilier: Wait! No, wait! WAAAAAIIIIIIIT! [echoing]

[they all look at the guards taking Facilier away]

Partners
[then Spirit blows, then they all laugh]

Twilight Sparkle: Yes! Edd: Now that was an adventure. Chris Kratt: Yes. Yes, it was. And, um... [sobbing] ...it was so much gold!

[Spirit looks at the gold on the hooves]

Chris Kratt: I'm fine. Starlight Glimmer: [to Chris] Good. [kisses Chris] Twilight Sparkle: Let's go.

[Martin and Chris sighs, then Edd and Matt gets up]

Matt: [puts his hand out] Partners. [grabs Martin's hand] Martin and Chris Kratt: Partners.

[last lines]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, guys. Come on! You don't want to stay here forever, do you? Edd: But, uh, we don't have a map. Martin Kratt: We don't have a plan. Starlight Glimmer: Well, that's what makes it interesting. [Spirit nods in agreement] Chris Kratt: [getting the idea] You're right! Matt: What are we waiting for? Twilight Sparkle: Let's follow that trail! Hyah! [Edd, Matt, Martin and Chris fall off Spirit] Come on, boys! Martin Kratt: [he, Chris, Edd and Matt chase Twilight, Starlight and Spirit] Hey! Spirit! [Matt pushes him] Augh! [gets back up.] Sit, boy! Sit! Chris Kratt: Twilight, Starlight, we're not on the horse!

THE END

[Twilight and Starlight laughs as Jerry chases some cheese and eats one, ending the movie]