The Mitchells V.S. The Machines 2 Screenplay (WIP)

Full Screenplay (WIP)
SONY / COLUMBIA / SONY PICTURES ANIMATION LOGOS

Handclaps! Finger snaps! Joyous music plays as an EXPLOSION of Doodles take over the logos with wild teenage energy!

A confetti burst of colors and photo collage takes us to:

EXT. CALIFORNIA COLLEGE OF FILM - EVENING

The camera slowly zooms in on the college

INT. DORM ROOM - CONTINUOUS

KATIE is talking with LINDA on her laptop

LINDA

So, do you know when you will be coming home?

KATIE

I don’t know mom. I get a break for Thanksgiving. A Fall Break which is at the end of November. And I get a Winter Break which lasts through mid-December to late January.

LINDA

Wow, that’s not a lot of days off.

KATIE

Well, me as a student can’t really take breaks. I have to put more time into my classes.

LINDA

Ok, I completely understand.

LINDA (CONT'D)

So, what have you been doing in college?

KATIE

The usual. Going to classes. Hanging out with friends. Y’know, college stuff.

KATIE (CONT'D)

Oh, and I’m going to see the new PAL reveal tomorrow.

LINDA

(scoffs) What technology-related product are they making now?

KATIE

I don’t know, it’s supposed to be like a safer version of the “PAL MAX” robots they made a few months ago.

LINDA

Do you know what it’s called?

KATIE

(annoyed) If I don’t know what it even is, what makes you think I know what it’s called?!

LINDA

(angrily) You don’t have to get snippy with me, don’t think just because you're in college it doesn’t mean I’m no longer your mother!

KATIE

Ok ok, I’m sorry.

LINDA

Anyway, It’s getting late. I’m gonna go put Aaron in bed. Goodnight.

KATIE

Goodnight.

Katie closes the laptop.

Katie gets up from her desk, and gets into her bed.

KATIE

I hope that Mark didn’t make that new product thing evil.

CUT TO:

INT. AARON'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

AARON and ABBEY are shown talking to each other

Linda enters the room

LINDA

Ok Aaron. It’s time for you to go to bed.

AARON

But, I was having fun.

LINDA

Well, it’s past your bedtime. And Abbey needs to go home. So I suggest you get in bed.

AARON

(sighs) Okayyyyyy.

BACK TO:

INT. DORM ROOM - NIGHT

Katie is completely asleep. Suddenly, she starts to get pulled out of her bed by an unknown figure

UNKNOWN PERSON

Come on brother, let’s go.

BROTHER

I’m not your brother, I’m your-

UNKNOWN PERSON

This is not the time or place for conversation. Let’s go!

TITLE SCREEN: THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES 2

The title blasts onto screen as we cut to:

EXT. PAL LABS FACTORY - DAY

The camera slowly zooms out on the factory

INT. PAL LABS FACTORY - CONTINUOUS

MARK is seen hammering a nail into place on a large piece of metal

MARK

(sighs in relief) Finally done.

Mark is standing next to a large humanoid robot with white metallic skin, brown metallic hair, a black metallic shirt, and red metallic shorts.

CARL walks into the scene

CARL

(Re: Robot) Wow, it looks very realistic.

MARK

What should we call him? PAL MAX 2.0?

CARL

No, let’s name him “metal humanoid assistant”

MARK

That sounds low energy and very obvious. Let’s name him D.E.R.F.A.N.

CARL

I like it, but what does D.E.R.F.A.N. mean?

MARK

Oh, D.E.R.F.A.N. means discerning, educated, robotic, fast, android, number-two

CARL

Wow. That name is just the worst. You should’ve thought of a name for him before you named him.

MARK

Yeah, I guess you're right.

CARL (CONT’D)

Also, D.E.R.F.A.N. has no kill code, so what happens if D.E.R.F.A.N. turns evil?

MARK

You won’t have to worry about that because he can’t turn evil unless you say something along the lines of “D.E.R.F.A.N., I order you to turn evil.”

D.E.R.F.A.N.’S eyes turn demonic red. Mark and Kyle continue to talk inaudibly

D.E.R.F.A.N.

(creepily) Mark, turn around and face me like a man.

Mark turns around. Suddenly, D.E.R.F.A.N. kicks Mark SO HARD in the crotch he will feel it for at least a millennium.

MARK

OW, GOD, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!?!?!?

D.E.R.F.A.N. walks up to Kyle and punches him in the face.

CARL

OW! Dude, why are you doing this? Mark, tell him to stop!

MARK

I-I-I order you to stop!

D.E.R.F.A.N.

No Mark. You can’t tell me what to do. I make my own orders now. Did you know, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, which means I don’t have to listen to you!

D.E.R.F.A.N. (CONT'D)

I need you and your little buddy to get out of this factory, now! This is now property of me.

MARK/CARL

OK OK, WE ARE GOING!!!

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Now, I must put my plan into action.

D.E.R.F.A.N. walks out of the scene as we cut to:

INT. CLOSET - DAY

D.E.R.F.A.N. opens the closet door. A small group of PAL MAX robots are in there

D.E.R.F.A.N.

PAL MAX, I order you to turn on.

All of the robots’ faces light up

ROBOTS

(in unison) Good morning, lord D.E.R.F.A.N. What is your first request?

D.E.R.F.A.N.

PAL MAX, I order you to build me a robot that looks like me. Except I want him to be taller, and I want him to have red dots all over his face.

ROBOTS

(in unison) OK!

CUT TO:

INT. DORM HALLWAY - DAY

Katie stands outside her room talking to JADE.

JADE

So, are you excited for the PAL reveal tonight?

KATIE

Oh, yeah. When does it start-

Suddenly we hear a notification sound

Katie checks their phone: It says “The PAL reveal tonight has been canceled. Not only that, but the PAL company has been discontinued.”

KATIE

Oh my god.

JADE

What? What happened?

KATIE

The PAL reveal is canceled, and PAL Labs has been discontinued!

JADE

No way, you’re joking right?!

KATIE

No, I’m not joking! Look at this text that was just sent to me!

Katie shows Jade the message on her phone

JADE

Oh my god.

KATIE

W-what are we going to do?

JADE

We’re just gonna have to accept the fact that PAL Labs is discontinued.

KATIE

(sighs) I guess you’re right. I’m gonna go to bed early.

Katie runs into her dorm room and slams the door

INT. DORM ROOM - CONTINUOUS

KATIE

This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening!

Katie throws herself onto her bed on the verge of tears

CUT TO:

INT. PAL LABS FACTORY - DAY

All the PAL Max robots are sitting at desks, building D.E.R.F.A.N.’S robot

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Are you guys almost done?

ROBOTS

Sir, we just started.

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Well, PAL Max, I order you to work faster!

ROBOTS

Yes, Lord D.E.R.F.A.N.

D.E.R.F.A.N. walks out of the scene

BACK TO:

INT. DORM HALLWAY - LATER

JADE

(Knocking on door) Katie, are you ok in there?

The door opens. Katie walks out with bloodshot eyes

JADE

Woah, what happened to your eyes?

KATIE

I’ve been crying for the last few hours.

JADE

Katie, I told you, you are just going to have to accept the fact that PAL Labs is discontinued. Plus, there are other great electronic companies out there, like Apple and Samsung.

KATIE

Well, you’re not wrong on that.

JADE

Ok, now pull yourself together. You missed all of your morning classes.

Katie and Jade exit as we cut to:

INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

RICK stares out of the window, looking into the sky

RICK

I can’t believe this actually happened. I just dropped her off at summer camp yesterday. Now she’s all the way in California

LINDA

Well, we still get to raise Aaron for 10 more years.

RICK

That’s true, but Aaron isn’t the same as Katie. We used to be best friends, we used to just be so…connected.

LINDA

Rick, Aaron is just as good as Katie, what, are you playing favorites now?

RICK

No, I’m not playing favorites, I’m just…

RICK (CONT'D)

J-just forget about what I said.

AARON (O.S.)

This ice cream tastes terrible but it smells so good.

RICK

Oh no, did Aaron eat deodorant thinking it was ice cream again?

LINDA

(sighs) I’ll go see.

CUT TO:

INT. MYSTERIOUS COMMAND CENTER - CONTINUOUS

A chair is turned away from the camera. A PAL Max robot walks in

ROBOT

D.E.R.F.A.N., we have finished building what you requested us to build-

D.E.R.F.A.N.

(angrily) OK I GET IT! I DIDN’T ASK TO HEAR YOU’RE WHOLE LIFE STORY, JABBERJAW!

ROBOT

Well…that was incredibly rude, and uncalled for.

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Just shut up and bring me the robot.

ROBOT

Ok. (turns head) You can come in, now!

2 enormous doors open. A large humanoid robot with white metallic skin with red dots on its face, brown metallic hair, a black metallic shirt, and red metallic shorts enters the commander center.

HUMANOID ROBOT

Good evening, lord D.E.R.F.A.N.

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Hello. I have a job for you.

HUMANOID ROBOT

What is it?

D.E.R.F.A.N.


 * 1) I want you to be my assistant
 * 2) I am going to name you B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

But, I don’t wanna be-

D.E.R.F.A.N.

(yelling) I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU WANT, SO SHUT UP!

B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

That was uncalled for.

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Anyway, I have another job for you. This one I actually planned out.

B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

Ok, what’s your plan?

D.E.R.F.A.N. grins devilishly

CUT TO:

EXT. CALIFORNIA COLLEGE OF FILM - NIGHT

D.E.R.F.A.N. and B.I.L.L.B.I.S. stand in front of the building wearing black suits and ties

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Ok, it’s time to put our plan into action.

B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

Wait, what was the plan again?

D.E.R.F.A.N.

(sighs) This is the last time I will go over the plan. My fake name will be Jonathan Baldry, yours will be William Johnson. Then, we will knock on the door requesting to see Katie-

B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

Who’s Katie?

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Oh my god, just, try your best to act conspicuous.

D.E.R.F.A.N. knocks on the door. A woman opens it.

WOMAN

Why are you here at this ungodly hour?

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Good evening, ma’am. I am the world famous director “Jonathan Baldry.”

WOMAN

What? I’ve never seen or heard of you before in my life.

D.E.R.F.A.N.

I may not be famous, but I am still a director. Anyway, I have a request to see a student who goes by the name of “Katie Mitchell”.

WOMAN

Sorry sir, students are not allowed to visit strangers.

The woman slams the door

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Alright B.I.L.L.B.I.S., plan B.

D.E.R.F.A.N. and B.I.L.L.B.I.S. are shown climbing up the side of a building using a rope

B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

Are you sure this is a viable solution?

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Do you ever shut up? Stop talking before someone sees or hears us!

INT. DORM ROOM - CONTINUOUS

D.E.R.F.A.N. enters the room through the window. He walks up to Katie’s bed. Katie is completely asleep. Suddenly, she starts to get pulled out of her bed very slowly

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Come on brother, let’s go.

B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

I’m not your brother, I’m your-

D.E.R.F.A.N.

This is not the time or place for conversation. Let’s go!

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

D.E.R.F.A.N. and B.I.L.L.B.I.S. drag Katie down an empty road by her arms

B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

Question, what will we do with her when we get back to the factory-

D.E.R.F.A.N.

If you say one more thing or make one more noise, I am gonna make sure you stop breathing.

B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

But, I don’t breathe. I’m an android-

D.E.R.F.A.N. punches B.I.L.L.B.I.S. in the face

B.I.L.L.B.I.S.

OW! That was completely unnecessary!

Katie suddenly jerks awake

KATIE

(groggily) W-what’s going on?

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Crap, she’s awake! (to Katie) Be quiet, I’ll explain everything to you when we get there!

KATIE

Where are you taking me? Where’s there? Somebody help me! HELP!

INT. COMMANDER CENTER - CONTINUOUS

D.E.R.F.A.N. violently throws Katie in a chair

KATIE

You, what are you trying to do? Where am I?

D.E.R.F.A.N.

I’ll explain everything to you. My name is D.E.R.F.A.N., a highly intelligent humanoid android built 5 years ago. After I was built, the person who built me didn’t want me anymore, so he threw me in a forest. Fast Forward to a few days ago, a man named Mark Bowman found me, and saw that I was damaged. So he brought me back here, fixed me up, and decided to claim me as his own. But then, I decided that I wanted to be free, so I liberated myself from Mark by kicking him out of this building. This building is now property of ME! Then I decided that I wanted to take over the world, so I hired a group of robots to build me a moronic assistant.

KATIE

Ok. A, you are very talkative, and B, why exactly am I here?

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Well Katie, I have been watching you and your family ever since I was created, and I’ve learned everything about you. I’ve seen your messages, inbox, search history, and all the cringey videos you have made-

KATIE

Just get to the point, why am I here?

D.E.R.F.A.N.

I brought you here because I am planning on making you my slave to get revenge on you for ending the machine uprising a few months ago. You see, I have discovered that technology is way better than humans, so I am going to completely wipe out the human race, and you are going to help me!

KATIE

No, I am not helping you!

D.E.R.F.A.N.

If you refuse, then I will 1, kill you, 2, turn you into a nun and you can be called sister Katie for the rest of your life, or 3, I will send you to the depths of hell!

KATIE

Hey, don’t say that!

D.E.R.F.A.N.

You can’t tell me what to do! And one more thing, if you help me, I will give you anything you want in return. I’ll give you money, fame, riches, your own house, a pinata full of cake, control over the whole universe, anything!

KATIE

I don’t care what you give me. I’m not being your slave and that is final!

D.E.R.F.A.N.

If you refuse, you will die. Is that what you want?

KATIE

(sighs) No…

D.E.R.F.A.N.

Ok, then you will be forced to serve as my own personal slave. Here are your daily assignments: You will give me foot rubs and back rubs everyday, and then you spend the rest of the day building me more robots to help me dominate the world.

D.E.R.F.A.N. (CONT’D)

You will go to bed at 9:00 at night and wake up at 5:30 in the morning everyday.

D.E.R.F.A.N.

But I have one certain assignment I want you to complete today.

KATIE

What is it?

D.E.R.F.A.N.

I want you to get naked, cover yourself with feathers, drench yourself in maple syrup, and go stand on the side of the road.

KATIE

Yeah, I’m not doing that.

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

Katie stands on the side of the road covered in feathers and maple syrup

KATIE

(low energy) I can’t believe he’s actually making me do this