Adventure Time: Awakening/Transcript

[Warner Bros. Pictures logo starts and it flashes briefly into Warner Bros. Pictures logo from 1991 then cuts to Finn who has an interview with Flame Princess.]

Finn: I got shown up by Cinnamon Bun. I never realize what I had to do... until there was nothing... I could do something very badly.

[The scene cuts as Sony and Columbia Pictures logos start and it flashes briefly into Columbia Pictures logo from 1991 then cuts back to Finn.]

Finn: When we broke up, I said I was truly sorry. I never understood... what I totally did wrong. [breathes heavily] I know you said I've grown up a lot.

[The scene cuts as Cartoon Network Studios logo starts and it fkashes briefly into the classic Cartoon Network Studios logo then cuts back to Finn.]

Flame Princess: Yes, Finn, I said you've grown up a lot. And yes, I already forgave you.

Finn: [tearfully] That's not what the hell's supposed to happen, you know that?

Flame Princess: Um, yes. I know that.

Finn: When the humans moved to Ooo, my mother set up a baby monitor in my new bedroom! Everybody knows I turned off the Guardian because I wanted to Susan Strong and Frieda again. You're not even knowing what you're doing! Gumbald's army literally needs to be dead!

[The scene cuts as Tencent Pictures logo starts and it glitches then cuts back to Finn who has a total freak out.]

Finn: [explodes with panicked hysterical anger] This whole place! Everything you see is gone! You're the one living in the fucking dream, Phoebe! Because I know it happened! [distorting] It happened! [Flame Guard takes Finn to the dungeon]

[The scene glitches to black then fades to the Badlands in Ooo and Bank Gothic says "Badlands, Land of Ooo. Four years after the Gum War." The text fades. The credits fade up as Bank Gothic says "Warner Bros. Pictures and Columbia Pictures present", "in association with Cartoon Network Studios and Frederator Studios and Tencent Pictures", and "a Di Bonaventura Pictures/Platinum Dunes/K/O Paper Products production" then the credits fade. We see Tiffany Oiler who finds Finn and Jake then turns to Dr. Gross who survived an explosion.]

Tiffany Oiler: Dr. Gross, I know where to find Finn and Jake.

Dr. Gross: Of course you do, but I don't know why you're actually against me, Tiffany.

Tiffany: Yeah, well, I trust Finn and Jake, and they have a better understanding of what's wrong or right than either of us. They're my friends, that's why.

Dr. Gross: Why can't you just obey me? This is for their own good.

[A rock passes Dr. Gross and Tiffany as they both gasp and turn around to see Bandit Princess, Ash, Ricardio the Heart Guy, Samantha, Me-Mow, Pete Sassafras, Sir Slicer, Peace Master and Scorcher.]

Bandit Princess: You pathetic waste of human flesh. I'd kill you right now even if I have to do it.

Dr. Gross: Who are you?

Bandit Princess: I'm Bandit Princess. This is Ash, Ricardio, Samantha, Me-Mow, Pete Sassafras, Sir Slicer, Peace Master and Scorcher. We were the members of Gumbald's Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters.

Dr. Gross: Oh, I see. You were all the members of Gumbald's Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters. Now then. Is there anything else I can help you all?

Bandit Princess: Well, I think there's something else you could help.

Dr. Gross: Oh, yeah? Like what?

Bandit Princess: Like coming up with a new empire name.

Dr. Gross: Excellent. I think it's time for a new empire. We'll be known as Mutant Exterminators. Tiffany Oiler, we're going back to the Land of Ooo.

Tiffany Oiler: Right away, Dr. Gross. It's time to capture mutants.

[Dr. Gross, Tiffany Oiler, Bandit Princess, Sir Slicer, Ash, Samantha, Ricardio, Pete Sassafras, Scorcher, Me-Mow, and Peace Master enter the rocket. The rocket starts and drills back to Ooo. The camera pans down to the hole and the title says "Adventure Time: Awakening." The title moves forward and the screen fades to black then fades back to Finn who is locked up in the dungeon in Fire Kingdom. The text appears and it says "Fire Kingdom. Today is Finn's 21st birthday at 6:00 am." The song plays "All Out of Love" by Air Supply then Flame Guard walks to the gate and unlocks it then the gate opens.]

Flame Guard: Mertens, you're free to go. Happy birthday.

[Finn stands up and the scene fades to Finn who walks back home. The scene cuts to Finn's new house as text appears and says "Finn's new house." Finn opens the door and sees his mother.]

Finn: Mom, I'm home.

Minerva: Oh. Good morning, son. How's the interview?

Finn: Well, it went like fun.

Minerva: Oh. Well, that's great to hear. [chuckles]

Finn: Yes, I think we all know how everything's great.

[Finn takes a look at the picture of Martin Mertens.]

Minerva: Finn? Is there something wrong?

Finn: [sighs] Yes. All I ever really wanted was to see my father named... Martin Mertens. Every time I sleep, I saw my father right in my dreams. And when I woke up, I realize he's disappeared. I really, really missed him. I wish I could bring him back to life. Even Fern. I'll be at the Ice Kingdom. Come with me.

Minerva: All right.

[Finn, Jake and Minerva walk to the Ice Kingdom. The scene cuts to the Grass Plains as Finn, Jake and Minerva continue to walk while the song plays "No Problem" by Pusha T then they see a poster where it says "Remember Gum War. Report mutant activity." The scene cuts to clips from Come Along With Me with news banner from Fox News, CBS and CNN.]

Shepard Smith: The Great Gum War was an event that permanently changed our world.

John Dickerson: An alien from Mars, known as GOLB, granted a wish from Betty Grof, the wife of Simon Petrikov, as she wished for the crown to keep him safe after biting Finn's arm off.

Anderson Cooper: A swift act of Congress in California put an end to all joint operations between the humans and the mutants, ending the alliance. They're urging everyone to report suspicious mutant activity.

[At an examination room, Bandit Princess is having a meeting with Dr. Gross, Ash, Samantha, Me-Mow, Sir Slicer, Peace Master, Scorcher, Pete Sassafras, Ricardio and Tiffany Oiler then the song ends.]

Bandit Princess: As this meeting knows, the Great Gum War was a defining day for the Land of Ooo four years ago. The day millions of people realized that never again can we allow mutants to fight our battles for us. A handful of mutants were given sanctuary after joint-combat operations were abolished. Fewer than a dozen mutants are still on the run thanks to our new unit "Mutant Exterminators." As for the mutant sociality, our objective remains to keep it in control in the island. [they watch footage where Shermy finds Finn's arm in the future] Word has it Shermy, a reincarnation of Finn P-G-8-7 Mertens, may have gotten hands on his arm. Apparently, the Japanese are starting a bidding war. [they continue to watch the footage again] The new era has begun. And the age of the mutants is over.

[The scene cuts to Finn, Jake and Minerva who arrives at the Ice Kingdom as Toronto rides on a horse where he listens to "Back in Black" by AC/DC on radio then he turns the radio off. He jumps off the horse.]

Toronto: Hey, Finn.

Finn: Oh. Hey, Toronto. I know you from Flame Princess' rap contest.

Toronto: That's right. You know me. So, how's the arm going?

Finn: Well... it's missing. GOLB bit it off. You didn't invite us for the Gum War

Toronto: Oh, well, that's okay. I missed the war.

Ice Thing: Hello, Finn. How can I help you?

Finn: Oh. Hey there. I was wondering if there's Patience St. Pim.

Ice Thing: Oh. Okay. Let me show you Patience St. Pim.

[Finn and Ice Thing discover until they found Patience St. Pim inside a giant ice egg.]

Ice Thing: There she is, Finn. Isn't she a beauty?

Finn: Yes. Let me just take a look at it. [he walks to it and cracks the giant ice egg a little as it leaks water] Water? What the hell happened to you? [puts invisible duct tape on the small crack] Hey, is it for free?

Ice Thing: Um... yes.

Jake: So we're buying Patience St. Pim for free?

Finn: Yes, that's what we're gonna do. Look, I know you love Lady Rainicorn. And besides, she's your wife. You got five children and one granddaughter who loves skateboarding.

Jake: Oh, that's right. I have five kids and one granddaughter. So who taught you how to buy people?

Finn: Maybe someone did. [sighs] Listen, I know what I'm doing. We're taking her to our new house. And I know I lost my arm, but we're gonna be fine, Jake. You know you can carry things, right? I mean, that's what starchilds do. And you know you're married to your wife. I'm sorry.

Jake: It's all right, Finn. I believe you.

Finn: I know Fern would be very proud of me. [Jake chuckles softly] Let's take her to our house. [Jake and Minerva bots roll the giant ice egg to Finn's new house]

[Outside at Wizard Battle Arena, Bandit Princess rises from the ground and uses binoculars with radar to hunt down Flint then she sends out her team.]

Mutant Exterminator Team #1: All right, let's move.

Mutant Exterminator Team #2: Go, go, go, go. Give me two. Give me two.

Ash: [cocks his M16 rifle with laser] Take the back, nice and easy. [the ice soldiers take the back]

Mutant Exterminator Team #3: [over radio] All right, hold what you got.

Sir Slicer: Activate the mini-drones.

Mutant Exterminator Team #2: Yes, sir. [they activate the mini-drones and find a hiding mutant]

Me-Mow: Got a hiding mutant. The backstage. Closest to the arena.

Mutant Exterminator Gunner #1: [over radio] Exterminator 0-1. Captured target area.

Samantha: [over radio] Set C-4 explosives.

[The team walks to the backstage.]

Mutant Exterminator Gunner #2: Bandit Princess, this is Exterminator 0-1. Eagles moving the patio closest to the backyard.

[The gunners talk indistinctly.]

Mutant Exterminator Gunner #3: Exterminator 4, Exterminator 4.

[The mini-drones fly to the backstage where Flint hides in the chest at the backstage.]

Mutant Exterminator Gunner #4: Breached site at backstage with the chest.

Mutant Exterminator Gunner #3: Have Extermination Platoon put C-4 explosives.

Mutant Exterminator Gunner #4: Let Dr. Gross know we're moving to the backstage!

Mutant Exterminator Team #1: Alpha, take backstage. Omega, take the field.

Mutant Exterminator Team #2: Shift right, shift right.

[The gunners continue to talk as the team member 2 puts the C4 explosive and the detonator on the door. The detonator beeps.]

Peace Master: Cracking walls!

[The C4 explosives explode as Flint falls from the chest, groaning.]

Flint: No!

Mutant Exterminator Team #1: Hit him, hit him, hit him!

[the team members fire their guns and Boeing AH-64 Apache launches missiles.]

Mutant Exterminator Gunner #4: Fire! [Ice soldiers launch M72 launchers at Flint]

Pete Sassafras: [over radio] Missiles out. Danger close.

[the missiles land on the ground then Flint groans and runs away.]

Ash: He's running! Move!

Mutant Exterminator Gunner #2: He's on the run! He's on the run!

[the ice gunner fires his M16 with a laser as Flint dodges bullets until Flint gets his leg shot by a sniper rifle.]

Flint: [groans] No! Please! Hold your fire! [mumbling] Hold! Hold fire! Can't you just see? I've been injured! [continues groaning]

Mutant Exterminator Team #3: [over radio] Box him in. Box him in.

Flint: My name's Flint, Phoebe's brother. I'm a friend! [groaning] I'm a mutant!

Ash: Then why are you running?

Flint: Patience St. Pim recorded this message. [switches tape recorder on]

Patience St. Pim: [on recording] Boy, did I fail deep. Well, maybe I'll try again in another thousand years. I'm not sticking around to see how it ends.

Flint: We're all hiding. All mutants are being hunted. We're all in danger!

Ash: The Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters is dead. And now we're Mutant Exterminators.

[Bandit Princess uses her rocket launcher to launch a missile at the ground closest to Flint as he yelps]

Flint: What's wrong with you, people? [groans in pain]

[Flint throws fireballs at ice soldiers then they dodge them.]

Flint: No! Please. [gets knocked down and groans]

[Bandit Princess walks to Flint.]

Mutant Exterminator Gunner #1: Cease fire, cease fire.

[Bandit Princess uses her net.]

Bandit Princess: He's mine now.

Flint: Bandit Princess.

Bandit Princess: Humans, mutants. Like little children, always fighting. Making a mess out of the Land of Ooo. Then I've got to clean it up. There is one way you survive. Tell me where she's hiding. Where is Patience St. Pim?

Flint: She was taken by Finn and his family.

Bandit Princess: Very well, then. [captures Flint with the net] And one more thing. Thank you for telling me where she is.

[the Sikorsky MH-53J Pave Low helicopters arrive as the ice soldiers, Bandit Princess and her team members enter them and fly away to Dr. Gross's rocket. The scene cuts to Martin who wakes up as he grunts and walks to his time machine. He travels to the future in Ooo. At Ooo in a 996 years, the text appears where it says "Land of Ooo, in the distant future." Shermy and Beth climb down the tree as he looks at Finn Sword.]

Shermy: Wow. Look at this sword. I wonder what Fern's up to.

Beth: Don't worry, he'll come alive. [Fern comes alive] See? He comes alive.

Fern: I'm alive.

[the time sphere appears and opens as Martin's time machine lands on the ground. The time machine door opens as Martin walks to Shermy, Beth and Fern.]

Martin: Hello.

Shermy and Beth: Hello there.

Martin: My name's Martin Mertens, and I'm here to take you back to the past so we can change the future.

Shermy: The past?

Martin: Yes, the past.

Fern: Hi, Martin Mertens. I'm Fern.

Martin: Oh. Hello there. Shermy, what you got there?

Shermy: [shows Finn's arm to Martin] Finn's arm. Your son.

Martin: I... I remember my son. I really wish I could meet him and his mother. Wait, his mother lives. I have a wife. Her name's Minerva Campbell.

Shermy: Then let's go.

[Shermy, Beth, Fern and Martin walk to the time machine and travel back to the present. At Grass Plains, the time sphere appears and reveals Simon Abadeer and he looks around while the song plays "Gangsta" by Nicki Minaj. At Candy Kingdom, a time sphere opens as Martin's time machine lands on the ground after the song ends. The time machine door opens then Shermy, Martin, Fern and Beth walk out of the time machine.]

Martin: Well, here we are. The past.

Beth: We're in the past.

Fern: Wow. I remember this place.

Martin: Hey, you still have Finn's arm.

Shermy: Uh-huh.

Martin: Then let's meet him tonight.

[at the Fire Kingdom, Cinnamon Bun reads a book then Flame Princess walks behind his back and licks his right arm.]

Cinnamon Bun: Oh! Hey. [chuckles]

Flame Princess: You reading the book, Cinnamon Bun?

Cinnamon Bun: Yes, I think this book takes me, like, 197 pages.

Flame Princess: I know how long it takes. And maybe you should take Bun Bun somewhere else.

Cinnamon Bun: Oh, yeah? Which place would you like me to take Bun Bun?

Flame Princess: Well, maybe you can take Bun Bun to Tree Trunks house so Bun Bun can be friends with Sweet P. And then you can take Bun Bun and Sweet P to the Candy Kingdom so they can be friends with Lemonhope.

Cinnamon Bun: Oh, yeah. I knew Tree Trunks.

Flame Princess: You can talk to her and her husband Mr. Pig. It might be a fun meeting while Bun Bun plays with Sweet P nicefully. Then you know you like reading books as everyone reads every book at the library.

Cinnamon Bun: Phoebe, I do love reading books. Listen. [Flame Princess sits on his lap] Imagine a jetliner with a pilot that never gets tired, never makes mistakes, and never shows up to work with a hangover. I'm kidding. I quoted Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

Flame Princess: Why do you think that a pilot should fly on a jetliner? I think your mind and your heart are always inside your body. And it really matters if you love Bun Bun.

Cinnamon Bun: [sighs] I know it does. And yes, I love Bun Bun.

Flame Princess: Then it's time to take Bun Bun to Mr. Pig, Tree Trunks and Sweet P. [snickers]

[Bun Bun opens the door.]

Cinnamon Bun: Hey-hey! [chuckles] Let's see Sweet P!

Bun Bun: Go see Sweet Pig Trunks? Good idea! Let's go to the orchard.

Cinnamon Bun: I'll be back later. Let's go.

[Cinnamon Bun and Bun Bun walk to Tree Trunks' house as Cinnamon Bun closes the door.]

Flame Princess: Hmm. I wonder what Finn's... Wait a minute. Did he just... I bet that's Patience St. Pim.

[At Finn's new house, Finn uses his hand.]

Finn: All the way!

[Jake and Minerva bots place Patience St. Pim at the backyard.]

Finn: Perfect. The backyard sounds great.

[Flame Princess lands on the ground and walks to Finn.]

Finn: Oh. Hey, Flame Princess

Flame Princess: Finn, tell me this isn't right.

Finn: All right, I found Patience St. Pim. I rolled her to the backyard.

Flame Princess: You know you can't do anything purposely.

Finn: Look, I could prove a new arm and that's why you're gonna make a new one from lava.

Flame Princess: I don't see what you're getting into this.

Finn: [clicks tongue, sighs] All right, I have a confession to make myself. I'm the one who wrote those hurtful letters that got you and Ice King mad at each other. I got you to break up with me as you need some time alone. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. I was only trying to get you back. The horrible, sad truth is, I'm just a virgin! [hugs Flame Princess crying]

Flame Princess: Is that true, Finn?

Finn: Yes, it's all true. And here's the real apology. [sighs] I'm sorry. I'm sorry for writing that hurtful letter that got you mad at Ice King. I'm also sorry for making you fight him, when he could've killed you. I understand you're still mad at me, for what I did. And you'd be right to be mad at me. I put you in danger, I got you to break up with me, and it's all my fault. I love the way you fight, but it was my greed, that blinded me. I'd never realized what I had done until it was too late.

Huntress Wizard: Good, good.

Finn: I must be the biggest, dumbest, most stupidest idiot in the world. I can't do anything right.

Michael Bay: This is such a good apology.

Finn: [pulls the sad puppy face] What I did was selfish, stupid and wrong. I never should've done it in the first place. Will you ever forgive me? [frowns]

Michael Bay: Now he's pulling the sad puppy face. Now she's gonna forgive him.

Huntress Wizard: Perfect. Now all he has to do is hold it until she forgives him.

Flame Princess: [sighs] Finn. Look. I said, "I need some time alone." I didn't say, "It's over, between us."

Finn: [becomes neutral] But... Does that mean... You've?

Flame Princess: Yes, Finn, I forgive you.

[Finn, Jake, Huntress Wizard, Minerva and Michael Bay become surprised.]

Finn: Yes!

Flame Princess: Oh, and on one condition. Don't. You. Ever. Do. Anything. That. Stupid. Again! Deal?

Finn: [hugs Flame Princess without burning] Deal. [Flame Princess sighs and hugs him back]

Jake, Minerva, Huntress Wizard, Michael Bay: Aw.

Finn: I better call Cinnamon Bun and tell him she forgave me again. [calls Cinnamon Bun]

Cinnamon Bun: [on phone] Hello?

Finn: Hey, Cinnamon Bun. You remember me?

Cinnamon Bun: [chuckles] No, should I?

Finn: Well, maybe you should because I got shown up by you.

Cinnamon Bun: Finn.

Finn: Oh, so you do remember me. That's funny because I don't remember you which must mean you're her only knight.

Cinnamon Bun: [huffs] I was under the impression that you were born a virgin.

Finn: Oh, yeah, I've never been a virgin because I didn't have any girlfriend to marry, because you stole her from me!

Cinnamon Bun: Oh, come on, Finn. Flame Princess and I are just friends. I couldn't have stolen your girlfriend. I've been a good friend to her all day.

Finn: God. I guess I was wrong. We don't have to involve the authorities, do we, Cinnamon Bun? I mean, I made a confession to Flame Princess, and it's all true.

Cinnamon Bun: Really?

Finn: Yes, and that's why I got her back. I guess we should say goodbye.

Cinnamon Bun: Oh. Okay. Goodbye.

[Finn and Cinnamon Bun hang up. At sunset, Finn walks to the tree with a Finn Sword.]

Finn: [sighs] Best thing that ever happened, Fern. She's the best thing that ever happened. You'd be happy.

[Finn turns around and sees Martin as he feels shocked.]

Finn: Huh?

Martin: Hey, kiddo.

Finn: Dad? Is that you? [pokes Martin's belly and squeals excitedly] Dad! It's you! You're alive! I thought you were transforming into GOLB and defeated by Betty Grof and... [Martin shushes]

Martin: Yes, Finn, I'm alive. [chuckles] Listen, I wasn't transforming into GOLB. GOLB's been defeated by Betty Grof where she made a wish for the power to keep Simon Petrikov safe. And look, there's someone I'd like you to meet.

Shermy: Hi.

Finn: Oh. Hi, there. I'm Finn Mertens. Who are you?

Shermy: I'm Shermy and she's Beth.

Beth: Hi, there.

Finn: Oh. Hi.

Shermy: Do you remember Fern?

Finn: Uh, should I remember him?

Shermy: Well, maybe. Then meet him.

Fern: Hi, Finn. Surprise to see me?

Finn: Fern! [hugs Fern] Oh! It's really good to have you back. You're alive.

Fern: Thanks.

Finn: Hey, Shermy. What'd you find?

Shermy: Your arm. [shows Finn his arm]

Finn: Wait. You found it. How'd you...

Shermy: I found it on the ground. Wear it again after you clean the dirt off.

Finn: Okay. [cleans his mechanical arm, wears it again and it moves] Wow. It moves. Thanks, Shermy. Oh! And guess who I got her back.

[Flame Princess walks to Finn.]

Finn: This is my ex-girlfriend, Flame Princess.

Flame Princess: Hi.

Shermy: Oh, hey, there. Are you Phoebe?

Flame Princess: Yes. You may call me Phoebe. I'd better go. Cinnamon Bun needs me. Goodbye.

Finn: Okay. See you soon, Phoebe. [Flame Princess flies to Fire Kingdom] I've never seen one like you before. Almost human.

Shermy: I am human. Half-human, half-cat.

Jake: What the... Beth?

Beth: Hi, there.

Jake: Oh. It's really good to see you, my great-granddaughter.

Finn: Anyway, we'd better go home so we can have a good sleep.

Shermy: Oh. Okay.

[outside at Finn's house, the rooster crows as the sun shines risingly. In Finn's house, Finn, Martin, Jake, Shermy, Beth and Fern wake up and yawn.]

Finn: Oh. Good morning.

Minerva: Good morning, son. I'll make you some... [she gasps and sees Martin] Who's that?

Martin: Don't worry, Doc. You'll scan me. [Minerva scans Martin's DNA]

Minerva: It is you. Oh, my God, I can't believe you're alive. You're back. My wonderful husband Marty. Oh, you have a big belly. And look at you, you have a beard.

Finn: Mom, Dad, come here. You're not gonna believe this.

[Finn, Minerva, Fern, Martin, Shermy, Jake, and Beth run to the backyard.]

Finn: Look, it's a small crack. When it leaks cold water, I put a duct tape on it. [removes the duct tape and puts an underwater microphone through the egg as Patience St. Pim speaks distortedly after Finn presses the play button on the radio] Oh, yeah. I don't think it's a giant egg at all. [gasps] I think we just found Patience St. Pim.

Huntress Wizard: Wait, Finn, how'd you know the ice elemental? Oh, I mean, good morning, my love.

Finn: Good morning, babe. Great news. Shermy found my arm. He's from the future with Beth and my father Martin Mertens. And that's why my father came back to Earth.

Huntress Wizard: Wow. That's fantastic, my love.

Finn: Thanks. Anyway, I got Flame Princess back together after I made a confession.

Huntress Wizard: Finn, I understand.

Finn: Also, I think Princess Bubblegum's the one who locked my old girlfriend up all those years ago.

Huntress Wizard: [gasps deeply] Oh, dear. [accidentally faints on an egg]

[The egg cracks and shatters then Patience St. Pim falls to the ground.]

Finn: Whoa. I didn't know the ice egg cracked. I need a gun. The .45 longslide with laser sighting.

Jake: Here you go. [gives Finn the longslide with laser sighting]

[Patience St. Pim groans and yawns as she sees Finn pointing the longslide pistol at her.]

Finn: Talk. Talk fast.

[Patience St. Pim quickly wakes up, disarms Finn and pushes him against the wall.]

Patience St. Pim: You first.

Finn: My name is Finn Mertens. Four years ago, the Gum War was a totally complete success. And now Shermy found my arm after he and Beth went back in time with the help of my father.

Patience St. Pim: Finn, I'm in your debt now. My name is Patience St. Pim. I'm the ice elemental princess. [she groans and her skin on the face bleeds a small one] I really need... assistance right now.

Finn: Don't worry, Huntress Wizard's here to help you. So, you'll tell me what the hell's going on.

Patience St. Pim: All right. It was an ambush, a trap, set by Bandit Princess. [coughing] And that's why you found me. How'd you find me?

Finn: Well, I had to roll you to the backyard at my house where I live with Jake and my mother Dr. Minerva Campbell.

Patience St. Pim: Anything else?

Finn: I made a confession to Flame Princess known as Phoebe after I got shown up by Cinnamon Bun. And now I'm gonna kill him.

Patience St. Pim: But Cinnamon Bun's your friend. Why would you want to kill him?

Finn: I must terminate him by using the shotgun. Even Bun Bun. I'm sorry. I apologized to Flame Princess for real.

Patience St. Pim: Oh. Well, that's good to hear.

[At Dr. Gross's rocket, Dr. Gross orders Bandit Princess and her servants.]

Dr. Gross: Listen up, everyone. We found the location of an elemental mutant. And we're taking her as our prisoner immediately. Move out.

[Bandit Princess, Ash, Ricardio, Samantha, Me-Mow, Pete Sassafras, Sir Slicer, Peace Master, and Scorcher ride on nine Corvette Stingray cars to Finn's house. At Finn's house, Huntress Wizard reads a Game Informer magazine then she sees the Corvette Stingray cars.]

Huntress Wizard: Finn!

[The Corvette Stingray cars park at the front yard then Bandit Princess, Ash, Ricardio, Samantha, Me-Mow, Pete Sassafras, Sir Slicer, Peace Master and Scorcher exit the Corvette Stingray cars. Finn opens the door and sees the villains.]

Bandit Princess: Remember me, Finn Mertens? The Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters? My friends and I are looking for the giant ice egg. It's a nice place you got there. I guess it's been for sale.

Finn: Well, thanks. She's not. That the egg you mean? It hatched.

Ash: Of course it did. You know, Mr. Mertens, we received a call from someone concerned about this egg.

Finn: Oh, no.

Me-Mow: That wasn't you?

Finn: Only thing I'm concerned about is you being on my property without permission. You know, we got a rule about people messing with people in the Land of Ooo. And I don't know what egg you're talking about.

Me-Mow: The kind that cost a lot of money. Search the property!

Finn: What do you mean, "search the property"? You don't have a warrant!

Sir Slicer: My face is my warrant.

Huntress Wizard: Wait. But if you people find the egg, we get a reward. Right?

Mutant Exterminator Team #1: Viper 1-5 holding, point alpha. [at the same time, Dr. Gross watches the teams search via the monitors back at the control room in her rocket] Charlie team, hold tight. Lock it down. [the team enters Finn's barn and the tape recorder plays "Can't Get Over You"] What the hell is that?

Mutant Exterminator Team #2: Just some dumb inventor.

Mutant Exterminator Team #3: Clear.

Mutant Exterminator Team #4: Clear right.

Mutant Exterminator Team #5: Clear.

Mutant Exterminator Team #3: Clear.

Mutant Exterminator Team #1: Three sixty-seven twenty. Heads on a swivel. [as they team finishes checking the barn] Let's go. There's nothing here. [the team walks out of the barn; to Pete Sassafras] There's no signs. We got nothing, sir.

Mutant Exterminator Team #6: [to Bandit Princess] Ma'am, we have a cracked ice egg shell in the trash.

Shermy: Cracked? I carried that to the trash! You said it was melting, man! I could be dead. Right?

Finn: Okay. Look, yes. I found the egg, all right? I bought it at the Ice Kingdom. I put it at the backyard. This morning, it completely hatched. When? Where? I don't know. I swear to God. That's as much as I know about her.

[Dr. Gross watches this from the monitors; to Ash]

Dr. Gross: Her. He said, "Her." He knows who the son of a bitch is.

Ash: Finn Mertens.

Finn: Yes?

Ash: I think you literally said, "Her." [to his team] Take them down!

Finn: What? [one of the team members grabs hold of Huntress Wizard and starts dragging her off]

Huntress Wizard: Hey! Let me go!

Finn: They don't know about the egg! I know! Let my girlfriend go!

Me-Mow: What kind of a man betrays his flesh-and-blood brethren for the ice elemental princess? Get this guy out of my sight.

Huntress Wizard: Get off!

Finn: Just let her go! They don't know about the egg!

Pete Sassafras: [to his team] All right! Load up! Search the perimeter!

Huntress Wizard: Shermy, you called, didn't you?

Shermy: No! I don't know any of these evil people! [to one of Dr. Gross's team who tries to drag her off]

Huntress Wizard: Oh, God! You're manhandling a woman! I'll kick your ass!

Finn: Let her go! [Finn goes to rush over and help Huntress Wizard but he gets knocked down]

Huntress Wizard: Honey! Let me go!

Mutant Exterminator Team #1: You're not going anywhere!

Huntress Wizard: Finn! [two men grab hold of Shermy]

Shermy: No! You're not taking me! I'm just a human-cat hybrid! [they drop him to the ground]

Mutant Exterminator Team #1: Easy, mutant.

Shermy: Okay, okay, okay. All right. Okay. All right. I was wrong.

Dr. Gross: Bandit Princess, use Huntress Wizard. [Huntress Wizard is pushed to the ground]

Huntress Wizard: Oh, my God! Ahh! [Ash points his M16 with laser at Finn]

Ash: Now, you got one minute. Where's the ice elemental? [his team point their guns at Finn's family]

Finn: You're gonna shoot my parents?

Peace Master: [scoffs] If I have to. [Huntress Wizard groans]

Huntress Wizard: Please don't shoot me! Please!

Finn: Look, I don't know. I told you everything that I know! She's gone! She left. She was in the barn, I swear to God! Just let her go!

Huntress Wizard: [choking] Please, please!

Finn: She was in there! Let her go!

Ash: 40 seconds.

Finn: I'm telling you the truth! She was in there!

Huntress Wizard: Finn!

Finn: Tell them to get away from my girlfriend now! [we see Patience St. Pim hiding under the barn]

Huntress Wizard: [crying] Finn!

Finn: You touch her, and I'll kill you all! [suddenly Ricardio shoots his gun near Finn's head]

Ricardio: You got 20 seconds.

Dr. Gross: I need the truth, now! [Huntress Wizard continues to weep]

Huntress Wizard: Please.

Samantha: 10 seconds left. [just then Patience St. Pim storms out of the barn]

Patience St. Pim: Here I am! [he fights some of the team, Finn grabs hold of Huntress Wizard]

Finn: Take cover!

Patience St. Pim: Finn! They're gonna kill you! Get out of here!

[Finn, Shermy, Jake, Beth, Minerva, Fern, Martin and Huntress Wizard make a run for it, at the same time, a Boeing Apache AH-64 helicopter launches the missile at the frontyard and it explodes.]

Mutant Exterminator Team #1: Push right! Headed to the Candy Kingdom!

Finn: Come on, we better get away from those evil soldiers!

[suddenly a plane swerves in, knocks down one of the team member and it stops just ahead of Finn, Shermy, Jake, Beth, Minerva, Fern, Martin and Huntress Wizard, the plane door opens, we see it's Susan Strong and Frieda.]

Susan Strong: Come on, let's go! Get in the plane, everyone!

Finn: Everyone, let's go!

[Finn, Shermy, Jake, Beth, Minerva, Fern, Martin and Huntress Wizard enter Susan's plane and she flies to the sky.]

Dr. Gross: [on walkie-talkie] Bandit Princess, don't let them get away.

Bandit Princess: Got it. Send out the F-22 Raptors.

[Bandit Princess and her team follow Patience St. Pim, now in flight as she flies off, she dodges bullets after the ten F-22 Raptors try to shoot her, meanwhile back in Susan's plane.]

Finn: Susan, Frieda, you came back for us.

Susan: Yes, Finn, we came back for all of you.

Finn: I got Flame Princess back so she loves me again.

Susan: What? She actually loves you?

Finn: Yes, I found my mother and father. His name's Martin Mertens. He's Fern, Shermy and she's Beth and my girlfriend Huntress Wizard.

Susan: Huh. Now that's a lot of people. I picked up Lemonhope.

Finn: What? He's on your side?

Susan: Yes.

[a missile passes the plane and they gasp.]

Finn: What the hell was that?

Susan: F-22 Raptors.

Finn: Oh, shit. Shermy, take the turret.

Shermy: Aye-aye, Sir Finn.

Finn: And one more thing. You know the music, time to dance.

[Shermy enters the turret and shoots an F-22 Raptor while the song plays "Ten Thousand Fists" by Disturbed.]

Shermy: This turret really kicks ass. One down, nine to go.

[Outside in the sky, the plane dodges bullets from the F-22 Raptors while the turret fires at them where they dodge.]

Finn: Stay on those F-22s.

[The turret fires at the engine as an F-22 Raptor falls down then Ash ejects and pulls the parachute.]

Dr. Gross: Do not let them get away! Do not let them get away!

[The plane door opens as Finn uses the bazooka and fires at eight F-22 Raptors then they fall down where Me-Mow, Bandit Princess, Sir Slicer, Peace Master, Scorcher, Samantha, Ricardio, and Pete Sassafras eject and pull the parachutes then the song ends.]

Frieda: Good job.

Finn: Thanks.

Dr. Gross: [on radio] I'll bet you wish you could see my face right now.

[Dr. Gross throws the walkie talkie across the room angrily, back at the forest, Bandit Princess sees the plane.]

Bandit Princess: We'll get them sometimes.

[Patience St. Pim enters the plane.]

Finn: [to Susan] Do you even remember me? The grass curse? Losing my arm at the beach? Traveling to Founders Island? My parents? Ring any bells?

Susan: Yes, I remember everything.

Patience St. Pim: Finn, are you all right? Let me have a look. [looks at Finn's arm] Say, I didn't know Shermy actually found your arm.

Finn: Of course he did.

Patience St. Pim: [sighs] Finn, it was stupid of you to find me. Goddamn it, Finn, you have to be smarter than that. You're too important! You cannot risk yourself, even for me, do you understand? Jesus, Finn, you almost got yourself killed.

Finn: But... I had to find you to get you out of the Ice Kingdom. I'm sorry.

Patience St. Pim: You didn't need help. I can try again in the future. [Finn's tear escapes]

Frieda: What's wrong with your eyes?

Finn: Nothing.

Patience St. Pim: Hmm. Look, after all we've done, Bandit Princess is hunting us and villains are helping. But I fear we've been all targets now.

Finn: We're here!

[Susan lands her plane at the cave. The plane door opens then Finn, Frieda, Susan, Patience St. Pim, Jake, Shermy, Beth, Minerva, Fern, Martin, Lemonhope and Huntress Wizard walk out of the plane.]

Lemonhope: Well, here we are. The cave. Oh, hi, Finn.

Finn: Oh! Welcome back, Lemonhope.

Lemonhope: [shows Finn the mini drone] See? I got it.

Finn: Wow. That's great, Lemonhope. [shows his family the footage of a mutant raid] This is the footage of a mutant raid. It has videos. Watch what happens here. [touches the video as the Mutant Exterminators Team members capture Rattleballs]

Rattleballs: [on video] Please! No! I'm a mutant! I'm a mutant!

Jake: Oh, that's Rattleballs.

Finn: They captured him.

Jake: Savages.

Finn: And later, this ice elemental princess comes to haul her off. Dr. Gross. She survived an explosion with Tiffany Oiler.

Fern: So that's why the Legion of Candy Kingdom Haters had been changed to Mutant Exterminators.

Finn: Yes, they captured them as their prisoners.

Jake: [gasps] It's the Vampire Prince! Everybody, hide!

[they hide inside the plane. Simon Abadeer walks and looks at the plane then walks to Marceline's house. They come out of the plane.]

Jake: Is he gone, Finn?

Finn: So far, so good.

Jake: Oh, thank God.

Frieda: Who's that?

Finn: That, Frieda, is Simon Abadeer, the Vampire Prince.

Frieda: Whoa. I didn't know Simon Abadeer just became the first time traveler.

Finn: Precisely.

Fern: Now that's something you don't see every day.

Finn: Good word, Fern.

Fern: Thanks. [chuckles]

Finn: [clears throat] He's the son of Marceline Abadeer and Bonnibel Bubblegum, and now, he's the time traveler.

Shermy: So, is he, like, a Terminator or something?

Finn: Approximately.

Shermy: Oh, you've gotta be shitting me.

Finn: No, I am not shitting you.

Martin: Very funny, son.

Finn: Everyone, I have sworn to never write hurtful letters.

Jake: Big mistake.

Finn: But when I find out who's behind this, I'm changing the past.

All: Hooah!

[At the cave, Simon walks to the front door and knocks. The door opens as Marceline sees her son from the future.]

Marceline: Who are you?

Simon Abadeer: I'm Simon Abadeer. Are you my...

Marceline: It is you. Oh, my God, I can't believe you're from the future. You're wonderful. [chuckles and hugs her son] My son became the first time traveler. Oh, you're so big. You're just like Marshall Lee. Bonnie, come here. It's our son.

Princess Bubblegum: [gasps softly] Oh, my God. You came for us. You're here. You're just like her father. I knew you'd come for us, son.

Simon Abadeer: [enters her house] Of course I came for you two, my mothers. [chuckles and sees Hunson and Marion, his grandparents] Grandmother. Grandfather.

Hunson Abadeer: Who are you?

Simon Abadeer: I'm Simon Abadeer, your grandson.

Hunson: [gasps softly] I have a grandson.

Marion Abadeer: Hi. Do I know you from the future?

Simon Abadeer: Uh, no. I mean, yes. You know me. Simon Abadeer, your grandson.

Marion: My grandson became the first time traveler? That's awesome. I'm really, really proud of you.

Simon: Thanks so much.

[Outside at the Fire Kingdom, Finn, Jake, Martin, Minerva, Fern, Shermy, Frieda, Beth, Susan, Huntress Wizard, Lemonhope, and Patience St. Pim walk to the front door.]

Patience St. Pim: Are you sure this is the right place?

Finn: Yes, I'm pretty sure.

Patience St. Pim: Do you even know what happens to her?

Finn: Because I love flame Princess.

Patience St. Pim: Yeah, but, didn't she break up with you after writing the letters?

Finn: [sighs] Yes, she did. I'm the one who wrote the letters. And she needed some time alone.

Patience St. Pim: Oh, no, no, it's all right. Everything happens, that's all.

Finn: Now stay right here. I'll be back.

Patience St. Pim: But I thought...

Finn: You heard me. [walks to the front door]

[Finn uses his shotgun and goes against the wall then Cinnamon Bun opens the door as he looks at Finn.]

Cinnamon Bun: Finn Mertens. [Finn attempts to shoot Cinnamon Bun then Patience St. Pim stops him]

Patience St. Pim: Finn!

Finn: I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

Patience St. Pim: What the hell are you doing?

Finn: Let me have it!

Patience St. Pim: No! Finn, you need to calm down.

Finn: He took Flame Princess from me!

Patience St. Pim: Is that true?

Cinnamon Bun: Yes. But I'm not what you think I am.

Finn: I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!

Frieda: Finn, if the prince can help...

Finn: He's not her prince! He's the only enemy that took my girlfriend!

Frieda: It doesn't matter! Stop it!

Finn: [stammering] But why?

Frieda: Because he's her only prince. There's no other way.

Finn: I'm not here to kill you, Cinnamon Bun. I'm here to challenge you for Flame Princess.

Cinnamon Bun: Is that so?

Finn: Absolutely. I call it an ass-kicking.

Cinnamon Bun: Very well, then. Today, we fight at the coliseum.

[At the Fire Kingdom Coliseum, the crowd talks indistinctly. In the backstage, Finn wears the gladiator armor. Shermy and Beth walk to him]

Beth: Finn, nobody else is gonna die because of us.

Shermy: And you better be careful not to get killed.

Finn: I will, Shermy. I promise.

Patience St. Pim: Hey, Finn. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. Listen, if you want Flame Princess back, you'll have to be the rightful king.

Finn: All right. I'll do it.

Patience St. Pim: Very good. Now move out there and show him who's the prince. If all else fails, we'll have to rescue you.

Finn: Yes, Patience St. Pim.

Patience St. Pim: Come on, let's go.

[they jog to the seats at the top]

Patience St. Pim: I know you're scared, but now I'm right here to protect you.

[The scene cuts to Cinnamon Bun who wears the gladiator armor as he walks to Finn.]

Cinnamon Bun: Well, Finn. I guess this is the one you wanted.

Finn: Yes. I'm ready for the challenge and it's called... I don't know.

Cinnamon Bun: Listen, the challenge is called "The Sword Fight Competition."

Finn: Oh, yeah. I knew the naked name. Sorry. Funny name.

Cinnamon Bun: When the time comes, I'll just truly enjoy destroying you.

Finn: We'll see about that.

Cinnamon Bun: All right, you made your point. I'll make my speech when the competition begins.

Finn: Good. You go do that... if the competition begins.

Cinnamon Bun: [groans] Who cares about the competition?

[Cinnamon Bun walks outside as crowd cheers and uses his sword while the drums beat.]

Cinnamon Bun: Welcome, people of the Fire Kingdom, to the Sword Fight Competition! [crowd cheers and silents] The Sword Fight Competition is the ultimate event that you're about to witness that Finn Mertens has come to Fire Kingdom to challenge me for Flame Princess! And now, everyone, my competitor of the challenge... is Finn Mertens!

[Finn walks outside as crowd boos.]

Fire Citizen #1: Virgin bastard!

Fire Citizen #2: You're gonna die, you human freak!

Fire Citizen #3: You'll never be king!

[Finn and Cinnamon Bun put their helmets on. Drums beat rhythmically as camera pans up to Huntress Wizard, Martin, Lemonhope, Minerva, Jake, Frieda, and Susan Strong who sit on the seats at the top with Patience St. Pim, Shermy and Beth.]

Shermy: Never thought I'd see the day when Cinnamon Bun looks like the king of Fire Kingdom.

Martin: The challenge is to fight as the winner can be the king.

Patience St. Pim: Maybe that's the good reason we should watch. But don't you think that Simon Petrikov has to conjoin Ooo and Aaa? But you wouldn't turn into GOLB again, would you? Would you prefer to rip Finn's arm off again?

Martin: I wouldn't do that again, if you know what I'm talking about.

[The scene cuts to Finn and Cinnamon Bun who draw their swords.]

Finn: You have a golden sword. Powerful, but just too soft. I weld Phoebe's father's. And now you'll never be king!

[Cinnamon Bun yells and duels Finn as the song plays "Pretty Handsome Awkward" by The Used. Finn tries to decapitate Cinnamon Bun, but he dodges. Cinnamon Bun kicks Finn as he grunts and lands on the ground. Cinnamon Bun and Finn charge at each other. They duel again as Cinnamon Bun uses his legs to throw Finn to the wall. The song ends as Finn groans then he uses jetpack to fly and duel Cinnamon Bun who uses jetpack. They duel as crowd cheers. Finn and Cinnamon Bun strangle their swords.]

Martin: I promised Flame Princess I'd protect my son.

[Cinnamon Bun tries to stab Finn's heart then Finn dodges and kicks Cinnamon Bun to the sky.]

Shermy: This isn't a competition. It's an execution.

[Cinnamon Bun and Finn charge at each other while they yell and clang their swords. A sonic wave hits the audience as they gasp and cheer again. Finn and Cinnamon Bun land on the ground, charge again and duel until Finn tries to kill Cinnamon Bun but gets his sword destroyed. Everyone cheers as Cinnamon Bun shouts triumphantly.]

Cinnamon Bun: I am the one true king! [Finn breathes heavily]

[Cinnamon Bun yells as he tries to kill Finn but gets blown by a tornado. Cinnamon Bun falls to the ground, groans, coughs and retches. Simon Abadeer appears and walks to Finn.]

Simon Abadeer: You waiting for an invitation? Follow me!

[Finn, Shermy, Jake, Beth, Flame Princess, Huntress Wizard, Martin, Minerva, Susan Strong, Frieda, Lemonhope, Patience St. Pim and Fern follow Simon Abadeer.]

Finn: I have one question for you. Who are you and when did you come from?

Simon Abadeer: My name is Simon Abadeer, I'm the son of Marceline Abadeer and Bonnibel Bubblegum, and I'm from the future. I traveled back to the past to help you have Flame Princess back. Here's Susan's plane.

Finn: Help him? Of course we can help him.

[Finn, Shermy, Jake, Beth, Flame Princess, Huntress Wizard, Martin, Minerva, Susan Strong, Frieda, Lemonhope, Fern, Patience St. Pim and Simon Abadeer enter Susan's plane. Simon Abadeer sits the passenger seat along with Finn, Shermy, Jake, Beth, Flame Princess, Huntress Wizard, Martin, Minerva, Susan Strong, Frieda, Lemonhope, Patience St. Pim and Fern. Susan starts the plane as she flies around the island. Dr. Gross looks at Susan's plane on monitor.]

Dr. Gross: Jet bikes, take out the plane!

[The scene goes to the jet bikes where they're turned on as they fly to Susan's plane to take it down. Back at the sky, Susan's plane continues to fly around Ooo. Inside the cockpit, Finn and his friends sit on the passengers seat while Susan flies around.]

Simon Abadeer: Hey, Finn.

Finn: Yes, Simon Abadeer?

Simon Abadeer: I've been meaning to ask you. How'd you end up having grass curse?

Finn: Well, it's such a long story. Long ago, I bought the Grass Sword, I got shown up by Cinnamon Bun after trying to get Flame Princess back, I lost it in Crystal Citadel after trying to stop my father, I have a flower on my arm, it grew back like a tree, all of a sudden, I lost it again while it turns into an evil grass clone named Fern, I destroyed him, he was brought back to life by Gumbald, he became a knight, and now he's gone as I destroyed the Grass Demon after my arm was bitten off by GOLB.

Simon Abadeer: Oh, God. That sounds painful.

Finn: I know. Shermy found my arm.

Simon Abadeer: Oh, that's cool. You'd think me being all powerful I'd sense that.

Finn: Or maybe visit Marceline's house every once in a while... [Simon tuts]

Simon Abadeer: Visit, you say?

Finn: Yes.

Simon Abadeer: All right. Susan, take us to Marceline.

Susan Strong: Yes, Simon Abadeer.

[Susan's plane lands on Marceline's cave. The plane door opens as Finn, Shermy, Jake, Beth, Flame Princess, Huntress Wizard, Martin, Minerva, Susan Strong, Frieda, Lemonhope, Fern and Simon Abadeer walk out of the plane.]

Patience St. Pim: How many more of my kind must be sacrificed?

Finn: You'll have faith, St. Pim. I know you shall.

[a droning sound is heard as Finn, Shermy, Jake, Beth, Flame Princess, Huntress Wizard, Martin, Minerva, Susan Strong, Frieda, Lemonhope, Fern, Patience St. Pim and Simon Abadeer see nine jet bikes.]

Finn: What's that?

Simon Abadeer: Oh, my God. It's jet bikes.

Finn: How many are there?

Patience St. Pim: I believe there are nine of them.

Finn: Oh, shit. We're doomed!

[A rocket destroys a jet bike where the characters from Team Fortress 2 appear. They destroy eight jet bikes while the song plays "Bangarang" by Skrillex then the song ends where they finish destroying jet bikes. Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Heavy, Demoman, Spy, Medic, Sniper, Engineer and Miss Pauling pose. Scout and his friends walk to Finn and his family.]

Scout: Are you Finn Mertens, son of Minerva Campbell and Martin Mertens?

Flame Princess: [whispers] They know your name.

Finn: Yeah.

Scout: My name is Scout of England. I'm the class from the video game hit Team Fortress 2. Those are my friends. There's Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy, Engineer, Medic, Sniper, Engineer and Miss Pauling.

Sniper: What's up, my new friends?

Scout: This is Sniper, he's from Australia.

Sniper: This looks like a cool place to kick ass. [Finn chuckles]

Scout: This is Heavy, he's from Russia. [Heavy aims at Finn]

Heavy: You feeling lucky, baby?

Scout: Easy, Heavy.

Heavy: Just kidding. I just wanted to show him my minigun called "Sasha." She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon... for twelve seconds.

Scout: His name's Medic. He's from Germany.

Medic: [sniffing] In my medical opinion that a male human suggests that he wants to mate with a female fire elemental.

Flame Princess: Wow.

Scout: This is Soldier and Engineer. They're Americans.

Finn: Wow. So you can build a dispenser, a sentry, and a teleporter?

Engineer: Yeah.

Soldier: Hello. I am Soldier and I have an RPG so I can use it to make me jump high.

Finn: Wow. Just like in the Hulk movie.

Spy: Hello, Finn Mertens. I am the Spy. I'm from France.

Finn: Wait, so you can speak French, huh?

Spy: Yes.

Finn: Even Medic can speak German? Does Heavy also speak Russian?

Medic: [in German] Yes, sir.

Heavy: [in Russian] Yes.

Scout: You know my friends Demoman and Pyro.

Finn: Wait, so you're English, too, huh?

Demoman: Yeah.

Pyro: [muffled] Uh-huh.

Medic: Sniper's scars was damaged in battle. I'm still working on it.

Flame Princess: So... why are you here?

Scout: We're here to help you have Flame Princess back. And you better ask her to marry you before Merasmus does.

Finn: Who's Merasmus?

Scout: Merasmus is once a powerful wizard. He has an arsenal of magic spells. He's six thousand years old.

Finn: Oh, my Glob.

Scout: Yes. If Merasmus comes to wreak havoc on the Land of Ooo, it'll become an island of forgotten dreams, hopes and memories.

Engineer: And the humans will be extinguished And that's why we're here to help you have her back.

Finn: Awesome. I'll tell you what. We're gonna go knock on the door at Marceline's house. [walks to the front door] Here goes nothing. [knocks on the front door]

[Princess Bubblegum opens the door and sees Finn.]

Princess Bubblegum: [gasps] Oh. Look who's here. Finn's back. It's really good to see you again, Finn. We're really sorry we turned against you. And you think we're still friends?

Finn: Yes. This is Shermy and Beth. They're from the future.

Shermy and Beth: Hey, Bonnie.

Princess Bubblegum: Oh. Hey, Shermy. Hey, Beth. When I saw Flame Princess as an infant, I took her to the Fire Kingdom and locked her up all those years ago, and that's how Flame Princess became the queen.

[Finn thinks as the flashback shows clips from "Earth and Water" where Princess Bubblegum is at Fire Kingdom as she orders Flame King to lock Flame Princess up as an infant then flashes to Princess Bubblegum who makes a costume of Martin Mertens then flashes to a clip from "Escape from the Citadel" where Finn loses his arm at the Crystal Citadel then flashes to clips "The Tower" where Finn climbs then flashes to Finn and Martin. Finn's arm punches Martin then flashes to Princess Bubblegum who has a blackeye then flashes to Finn who uses his Night Sword and points at Princess Bubblegum.]

Finn: Is it true? Did you do it? Did you lock Flame Princess up as an infant? Tell me the truth.

Princess Bubblegum: I locked her up as an infant all those years ago. I passed Flame Princess to Cinnamon Bun. I made Flame Princess the queen. I made you shown up by Cinnamon Bun. I made a costume of your father. I ripped your arm apart from the Grass curse. I'm really, really sorry. It's all my fault.

Finn: Why? Why would you do this? I don't think I'm in love with you anymore. You said you'd want me to visit your house. But you're just like Snoke. You're just like Emperor Palpatine.

Princess Bubblegum: Finn, look, I know how you feel.

Finn: Of course, you do, Bonnie! You can mess up all over again! You don't even know what it's like to be evil because you were born a Bubblegum!

Princess Bubblegum: Yes, I'm the Bubblegum who made you not wise and strong enough to have Flame Princess back. And I lied. I want you back, Finn, but most of the time, I'm too scared.

Marceline: [sighs] Then how come you did bad things?

Princess Bubblegum: Because... we kissed each other from the Gum War.

Shermy: Ugh!

Beth: Oh!

Marceline: So it's true. You're the one who did every bad thing. Is that why you came to confront us?

Finn: Yes. I'm going after Dr. Gross with Scout, Soldier, Heavy, Pyro, Demoman, Sniper, Spy, Medic, Engineer, Shermy, Beth, Susan Strong, Frieda, Huntress Wizard, Fern, Shermy, Beth, Jake, Lemonhope and Simon Abadeer.

Marceline: Are you gonna be okay on your own?

Finn: Yes. Let's go. Mom, Dad, Flame Princess, look after Marceline and Bubblegum.

[Finn walks to Dr. Gross's rocket as Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy, Engineer, Spy, Medic, Sniper, Shermy, Beth, Susan Strong, Frieda, Huntress Wizard, Fern, Jake, Lemonhope and Simon Abadeer follow him. Martin and Minerva enter Marceline's house.]

Simon Petrikov: Hello, it's really nice to meet you two. I'm Simon Petrikov.

[The scene fades to the grass plains as they arrive Dr. Gross's rocket. The door opens as they enter the rocket. Inside Dr. Gross's rocket, they walk to the throne room. At the throne room, the door opens and they walk to Dr. Gross and Merasmus while they wear handcuffs. Merasmus walks to Finn, pats on his face.]

Merasmus: Nice work, Tiffany Oiler. Welcome, Finn P-G-8-7 Mertens, to Dr. Gross's rocket. My name is Merasmus the Magician. I see you have so many friends. [grabs his Night Sword] And you have a new sword. [laughs] I assumed. Wrongly. [sets the Night Sword down on the side of the chair and sighs] Come closer to me, Finn. [uses his staff to move Finn slowly toward him]

Finn: You underestimate the people of Ooo, and my friends and family, and me. It'll be the new war.

Merasmus: Oh. Have you seen something? [the screen rolls and shows clips from "Blade of Grass", "The Red Throne", "Betty", "Wake Up", "Escape from the Citadel", "The Tower", "Breezy", "The Dentist", "The Cooler", "Dark Purple", "The Comet", "Adventure Time: Stakes", "Flute Spell", "I Am a Sword", "Bun Bun", "Preboot", "Reboot", "Two Swords", "Adventure Time: Islands", "Adventure Time: Elements", "Whispers", "Three Buckets", "The Wild Hunt", "Son of Rap Bear", "Seventeen", "Marcy and Hudson", "Temple of Mars" "Gumbaldia", and "Come Along With Me"] Every adventure you had with your new swords. Is that why you came? [laughs] Young fool. It was Dr. Gross who turned her work strange and dangerous. Her actions led to the release of a terrible virus. I knew you weren't strong and wise enough to have Flame Princess back. And you got shown up by Cinnamon Bun and you're a virgin bastard. [chuckles menacingly] And now, you shall give us Patience St. Pim. And we shall make a new army between ice and machine.

Finn: Never.

Merasmus: Yes. [uses his staff to force Finn into the air] Give us Patience St. Pim.

Finn: No! No! No!

[Finn screams in agony and Merasmus lets out his evil laughter. The scene cuts to Patience St. Pim at Marceline's house as she hears Finn's scream and gasps.]

Marceline: What is it?

Patience St. Pim: I heard something. I heard Finn screaming in agony. He's in distress. I'll find him. Martin, Minerva, Mr. Petrikov, Phoebe, Marcy, Bonnie, come with me.

[Martin, Minerva, Simon Petrikov, Flame Princess, Marceline and Princess Bubblegum follow Patience St. Pim to Dr. Gross's rocket. The scene cuts to the throne room and Finn who falls to the floor after being tortured by Merasmus.]

Merasmus: [chuckles] Well, well. I didn't expect Finn to be wise and powerful. We shall give her and the elemental people, the death Finn desires. After the humans are dead, we shall go to Founders Island and turn it into an island of machines.

[Finn tries to use the Force to take his Night Sword, but Merasmus uses it to hit him on the head.]

Merasmus: Such adult. Look here now.

[Merasmus uses his staff to move Finn toward the viewport to show him Rattleballs, Flint and prisoners in the dungeon.]

Merasmus: Those are the prisoners to be turned into machines. Soon, they will all be gone. For you, all is lost.

[Finn uses the force to take Scout's bat.]

Scout: Hey!

Merasmus: Oh, still that fiery spit of hope? You have the spirit of a true warrior!

[Finn charges at Merasmus with Scout's bat. Merasmus uses his staff to pick Finn up and he lands in front of his friends. His bat spins around in front of him. Bandit Princess walks to Merasmus and Dr. Gross.]

Bandit Princess: And now, I'm gonna ask you this once. Where is Patience St. Pim?

[The scene cuts to the dungeon as the door opens then Patience St. Pim pulls the switch as the cell doors open. The prisoners run free from the dungeon. Patience St. Pim, Martin, Minerva, Simon Petrikov, Flame Princess, Marceline and Princess Bubblegum run to the throne room. The scene cuts to the throne room as Merasmus sees prisoners where they run free on television.]

Merasmus: [laughs] You think you can let those prisoners be free so Dr. Gross can be trusted as well as Tiffany Oiler? Pathetic human. I cannot be betrayed. I cannot be beaten. [Dr. Gross walks to Finn] I see her mind. I see her every intent. Yes. I see her walking to Finn P-G-8-7 Mertens to be executed! [without Meramsus knowing, Dr. Gross closes her eyes and takes deep breaths then opens her eyes] And now, foolish human, she opens her eyes... and kills the only human!

[The door busts open as Patience St. Pim rescues Finn.]

Patience St. Pim: Get out of here! All of you!

Beth: Your plan's been cancelled, douchebags!

Toronto: Hey, it's me! Get me out of this metallic box!

Dr. Gross: Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop! That's science property!

Finn: They're not your property. [Dr. Gross pauses] They are my friends.

[Soldier aims his shotgun at Dr. Gross.]

Toronto: Oh, she ain't talking so much 'cause you got Soldier in front of your tits, huh?

Dr. Gross: Go ahead. Show us your true colors once and for all.

Engineer: Just give us one good reason why Finn should be the king of Fire Kingdom.

Dr. Gross: Why don't you tell a female cyborg here that this is all the spoils of war? Dead mutant. Innovation. What we do here is give every prisoner every sample. Because you can never stop technology.

Finn: [angrily] We're not your technology!

Engineer: Let me vaporize her vagina.

Dr. Gross: I could create an army of machines. I own every single mutant.

Finn: The world will know what Flame Princess could marry me.

Dr. Gross: The world? The world will approve. We can make you now. Don't you get it? She doesn't love you anymore.

Engineer: That was cruel.

Finn: [sighs deeply] Everyone, we're done.

Toronto: We're done? We're not gonna kick a little bit of ass?

Scout: [picks up his bat] I've been itching to kill someone lately.

[Finn and his family leave. The scene goes to Dr. Gross, Tiffany Oiler, Bandit Princess, Ash, Ricardio, Sir Slicer, Me-Mow, Samantha, Pete Sassafras, Peace Master, and Scorcher where they walk to the control room.]

Bandit Princess: This is our chance. We have to stop her. You have to stop her.

Dr. Gross: I know, Finn just walked on us all.

Bandit Princess: Of course, he did. He's insignificant. I'll capture Patience St. Pim myself. I need an RPG launcher. Prepare the robot army. A new war begins.

Dr. Gross: Launch the MQ-9 Reapers.

[The scene goes to the drone hangar as four MQ-9 Reapers launch as the hangar door opens then the Reapers fly. The scene cuts to a live-action Los Angeles as text appears and says "Los Angeles, California" then cuts to Staples Center. The portal opens as Finn and Patience St. Pim walk on the sidewalk.]

Scout: Finn, take my scattergun with you. [Finn takes Scout's scattergun with him] If the cops arrive, point it at them, tell them to drop their weapons and on the ground. If anything goes wrong, well, I'll open the portal if there's trouble. Good luck.

Finn: Thanks, Scout. Come on, Simon. let's go to the phone booth.

[Finn and Patience St. Pim walk to the phone booth and the portal closes. The scene goes to Los Angeles Police Department as text says "Los Angeles Police Department" then cuts to the three Dodge Chargers with sirens where they wail then cuts to Finn and Flame Princess where they found the phone booth. Simon Abadeer drops two quarters in the machine then Finn dials and calls Minerva.]

Minerva: [on phone] Finn, where are you?

Finn: Patience and I are in Los Angeles, today. Bandit Princess is about to start a new war. She's creating a robot army. She's about to capture Patience St. Pim.

Minerva: Oh, my God. That sounds horrifying. Why would Bandit Princess do this to Ooo?

Finn: Because the new army could start a new war. I'll see you soon. I love you, mom.

Minerva: Love you too, honey.

[Finn hangs up as the police arrives at the phone booth. Three cars doors open as officers aim their guns then Finn aims his scattergun.]

Finn: Put your weapons down! On the ground, now!

Officer 1: Shut up. Lay down your arms, or we'll tase your asses.

Patience St. Pim: Do as he says, Finn. [Finn lays his arms down]

Officer 1: Who are you? When did you come from?

Finn: My name is Finn PG87 Mertens. This is Patience St. Pim. We're from the Land of Ooo in the future.

Officer 2: [picks up a walkie-talkie] Dispatch, they're from the future.

[Finn sees a missile whizzing from a MQ-9 Reaper.]

Finn: Everybody, take cover!

[The officers take cover as the missile explodes then the explosion sends Finn and Patience St. Pim hitting the phone booth and the people shout and run to them.]

Man 1: Check over there!

Man 2: Hey, are you all right?

Patience St. Pim: Finn, wake up! Wake up, Finn! Wake up!

[A woman screams as the M18 smoke grenade smokes green. Finn wakes up and grunts.]

Patience St. Pim: Let's go!

[A portal opens as a dropship goes through as four ice soldiers appear and jump to the street.]

Finn: Come on!

[Finn and Patience St. Pim run as four Dodge Charger police cars drive and park here.]

Pete Sassafras: We got cops. We got cops!

[The SWAT officers and ice soldiers have a shootout as people scream and take cover. Finn and Patience St. Pim go behind the bench.]

SWAT Officer: Get down!

[A Cadillac Luxury drives and parks here. The car door opens and FInn and Patience St. Pim see a man in a mask.]

Man in a mask: Get in the car.

[Finn and Patience St. Pim hop in the Cadillac Luxury back seat. A man in a mask runs to his Cadillac Luxury, starts the engine and drives away.]

Dr. Gross: I see the targets! Follow them! Let's go!

[The ice soldiers ride on the motorcars and follow the Cadillac Luxury. The scene cuts to the Cadillac Luxury where it drives to Los Angeles Downtown then cuts to the motorcycles then cuts to MQ-9 Reaper then cuts to Dr. Gross who uses the walkie-talkie.]

Dr. Gross: MQ-9, give me status on the targets.

Ice Soldier: [on radio] Targets in the Cadillac Luxury.

Dr. Gross: Take them out silently.

[The scene cuts to Finn who sticks his head out the window and sees an ice soldier as it rides on a motorcycle and uses a pistol.]

Finn: Step on it!

[Flame Princess uses the shield as an ice soldier shoots and the bullet ricochets.]

Finn: Who are you?

Man in a mask: [unmasks] It's me.

Finn: Who?

Man in a mask: I'm Steve Buscemi, and I'm the spy.

Finn: Wow. I'll release the train wheels.

[Finn pulls the handle and releases the train wheels from the truck. The train wheels fall off as an ice soldier on the motorcycle sees a train wheel tumbling on the street.]

Ice Soldier: Look out, look out!

[A train wheel wrecks the motorcycle as the ice soldier falls off.]

Ice Soldier 2: Hard right, hard right!

[The train wheels wreck the ice soldiers and the vehicles. Finn uses the scattergun and shoots the motorcycle as the ice soldier falls off. The scene goes to ice soldiers in the front seat of GMC Yukon Denali.]

Dr. Gross: [on monitor] Stay on them.

[All train wheels fall off the truck.]

Ice Soldier: Look out!

[Another ice soldier screams as the train wheel wrecks the GMC Yukon Denali.]

Finn: Patience St. Pim, I'm gonna destroy the International 4700 armored truck!

[Finn goes to the train wheels, pushes it as it rolls and smashes the International 4700 armored truck. Finn dives into the backseat of the Cadillac Luxury.]

Steve Buscemi: Nice work, Finn.

Finn: [pants] Thanks.

Steve Buscemi: You're welcome. We're almost there.

[The scene goes to the control room as Dr. Gross watches the mess in the highway in Los Angeles then uses the walkie talkie.]

Dr. Gross: MQ-9, take out Cadillac Luxury! [sees the police cars and ambulance trucks on monitor] The emergency services are here.

[The scene goes to MQ-9 as it flies to Cadillac Luxury then cuts to the backseat of Cadillac Luxury.]

Steve Buscemi: I see something. It's an MQ-9 Reaper, used by the Air Force.

Finn: I got the metal rod.

[Finn throws the rod at the camera. The MQ-9 powers down and explodes. They arrive at Downtown Los Angeles as text appears and reads "Downtown Los Angeles" then Steve Buscemi parks. They hop out of the car and hop on three flying motorcycles. The engines start and fly. Finn sees three jet bikes piloted by ice commandos and evade the missiles launching until the jet bikes were defeated.]

Finn: Look out!

[They evade the helicopter and land on top of the US Bank Tower.]

Finn: Whew, that was close. Quick, land on top of the logo.

[Finn, Patience St. Pim and Steve Buscemi hop on top of the logo then cuts to Dr. Gross.]

Dr. Gross: They're on top of the logo at the U.S. Bank Tower. I need you to take them out.

[The scene goes to two ice mercenaries who load their guns and wear LAPD vests and tags then cuts to Apache AH-64 as it flies to US Bank Tower then cuts to an ice soldier piloting the Apache AH-64.]

Ice Pilot: I see our targets on top of the U.S. Bank logo for the U.S. Bank Tower.

[The scene cuts to two ice mercenaries in the elevator as muzak plays on speakers.]

Ice Mercenary: [clicks tongue] Tough work. [the elevator bell dings and door opens] Let's roll.

[Two ice mercenaries walk to the top of the building.]

Ice Mercenary 2: LAPD! Get away from the top of the building!

[The scene goes to Finn who holds onto the logo then cuts to two ice mercenaries.]

Ice Mercenary 1: You ready, man? Right there, right there! Get them! Get them!

[Two ice mercenaries try to shoot the targets, but they dodge the bullets.]

Finn: We're behind the logo. It's all right. We're safe.

[A helicopter flies around the top of the building as the mercenaries tries to shoot the targets but they accidentally shoot the US logo down.]

Dr. Gross: Oh, shit.

Ice Pilot: Hang on, hang on! It's coming off the building!

[The US logo comes off the building and smashes the Apache AH-64 as it falls to the ground. Finn, Patience St. Pim hold onto the logo then jump to the tree. The debris rains on the street as people shout and run. The police arrive at the tree.]

LAPD Officer: Let's go, go, go! Move! [Patience St. Pim gasps]

LAPD Officer 2: Jesus must love you! That's the most craziest mess I've ever seen! Come on, guys. I know Jesus loves you.

[Finn, Patience St. Pim and Steve Buscemi land on the ground.]