Brad & Lisa/transcript


 * [movie starts with the 2011 20th Century Fox logo]


 * [Lisa's alarm clock goes off. She wakes up, turns it off and gets out of the covers]


 * Lisa Simpson: Good morning, Springfield! [walks up to her window and opens it, then smells the air] Ah! There is nothing like refreshing air this morning, isn't it?


 * Marge Simpson: [calling out to Lisa from downstairs] Lisa, breakfast!


 * Lisa: Ugh. Okay, Mom!


 * [cut to the family having breakfast. Lisa runs into the kitchen and sits]


 * Marge: I made pancakes for you, Lisa. I added it with syrup and butter on top of it.


 * Homer Simpson: Mmm... pancakes.


 * Marge: No, they're not for you, Homer. They're for Lisa.


 * Homer: D'oh!


 * Marge: [sets the plate down on the table] I hope you like it.


 * Homer: There's one thing I need to tell you.


 * Lisa: What is it?


 * Homer: You can stay here for about 27 hours, because we're going on a vacation to Hawaii!


 * Marge: That's right, sweetheart! A vacation to Hawaii!


 * Lisa: Hawaii?


 * Homer: Uh... Hawaii is, uh... um... Uh... I don't know.


 * Lisa: [facepalms] Oh, don't you get it, Dad? Hawaii is a state of the United States located outside North America, and is the only island state in the country. The largest city is Honolulu, located in the island of Oʻahu, the third-largest of the Hawaiian Islands, nicknamed "The Gathering Place".


 * Marge: She's right, Homie.


 * Homer: Oh, I see.


 * Marge: What time is it, anyway?


 * Homer: Erm... [shrugs] I don't know.


 * Marge: Oh, for God's sakes, Homer, haven't you checked your watch to see what time it is?


 * Homer: [checks his watch and screams] It's nine o'clock! That means we'll miss our flight to Hawaii! We've gotta hurry otherwise we'll fail to reach our plane!


 * Homer: So... How about a little music for us? [turns the radio on and Mark Lanegans' "El Sol" begins playing] Nah, not that one. [switches to another radio station and Smash Mouth's "Can't Get Enough of You Baby" starts to play] Ooh! Smash Mouth! [to Marge] I was once a fan of Smash Mouth, no? [Marge groans. Then her phone rings and then answers it]


 * Marge: Hello?


 * Mr. Burns: [on phone] Mrs. Simpson, [the scene changes to Mr. Burns's office in the Springfield Power Plant where Mr. Burns is talking to Marge on the phone] is your husband going to work yet?


 * Marge: [the scene changes to Marge] Oh! Mr. Burns. [chuckles] Sorry, but we're off on vacation.


 * Mr. Burns: [the scene changes to Mr. Burns. He exclaims in shock] A v-v-vacation?!


 * Marge: [the scene changes to Marge] That's right. A vacation to Hawaii! And you know what a vacation [the scene changes to Mr. Burns] is?


 * Mr. Burns: Well, then what does the term "vacation" mean?


 * Marge: It means [the scene changes to Marge] a long period of leisure, where one is spent away from home or in traveling!


 * Homer: Here, let me have the phone, Marge. [Marge gives him the phone and Homer answers it] Hello? Homer Simpson speaking.


 * Mr. Burns: [on phone] Simpson, you were supposed to go to work today, remember? And you're off on vacation?!


 * Homer: [the scene changes to Homer] Oh, don't be silly. A vacation is, um... What was it again? I was deaf for a second. [Marge whispers into his ear] It means you are an old loser who takes a vacation up your ass! [laughs. The scene changes to Mr. Burns once more. He hangs up]


 * Mr. Burns: Smithers, I've been shamed! That Homer is supposed to work here today, and he and his family are off on vacation!


 * Smithers: Sir, I have no idea with the term "vacation" is.


 * Mr. Burns: Nonsense, Smithers. You know what Homer is? He's nothing but a fat, lazy, ignorant loser!


 * Smithers: [thinking] I'll just pretend this thing is trying to come between me and Mr. Burns.


 * [the scene changes to the Simpsons house]


 * Lisa: Well, I guess Dad was right. Now that my family is off on vacation, Lisa Simpson gets to do all the things by herself! Hit it, Snowball! [Snowball V turns on the radio with her paw and Berlin's Lost in the Crowd begins playing. Snowball V meows afterwards]


 * Homer: [Bart sneaks up to him, then slowly takes the sunglasses off his face] Huh? Bart! [as Homer tries to grab the glasses out of Bart's hands, Bart pulls them away] Those are my glasses! Give those back! [Bart throws the glasses away] No! [the glasses immerse in the ocean. Bart laughs] Why, you little! [strangles Bart] I'll teach you how to ruin my glasses!


 * Marge: Homer, will you ever stop that?


 * Homer: It was Bart's fault, not mine.


 * Lisa: [scratching her butt while grunting]


 * Brad: Lisa? You're feeling a little itchy today, aren't you?


 * Lisa: Sorry. My underwear itches almost every time.


 * Linda: [clears throat] Well, anyway... I'm gonna ask you three questions.


 * Lisa: Ooh! I love questions!


 * Linda: Oh, so do I. Question #1: what town do you live in?


 * Lisa: Um... Oh! I live in Springfield, near Shelbyville. You know, the fictional town in my world. Brad lives in Springfield, too. But he's from another state.


 * Linda: Okay, what state?


 * Lisa: [whispers into Linda's ear] He's from Missouri.


 * Linda: Oh, yeah. Good guess, Simpson.


 * Brad: Wow. The motion of my car felt astounding.


 * Lisa: [her face is green] Yeah, and the motion of you driving at high speed in your car has made me nauseous.


 * Brad: Really? [Lisa nods] Heaven knows why you get carsick so easily. [opens the glove box and gives Lisa a doggy bag. Lisa grabs it and throws up in it. Brad rolls Lisa's passenger car window down afterwards] Well... [sighs. Lisa wipes the vomit off her lips with her arm and throws the doggy bag out the window] At least we lost him. [Lisa looks in the car mirror and notices that Kurt is behind them]


 * Lisa: [gasps] Oh, my God! He's still onto us! Step on it, Brad! [Brad steps in the gas pedal further more]


 * [the credits begin rolling as "I've Always Got You", "Sad Songs (Say So Much)", "Salutations Springfield" and "Moanin' Lisa Blues" play]