Leafie Longest Adventure: A Bluesy Beaverton and the Children Gang Movie/Transcript

(Opening: The second half of the "Bluesy Beaverton and the Children Gang" Theme Song plays in a small rectangle in the center of the screen. Captions "A Netflix Original Series and Nickelodeon Present" "A Spin Master Entertainment" fade on and off on top of this rectangle. At the end of the intro, where Leafie squirts the water bottle. The streams of water cover the entire movie screen, then drips down with a stereophonic crescendo to reveal "Leafie Longest Adventure: A Bluesy Beaverton and the Children Gang Movie" logo. Fade to black.)

(The camera is in a Jungle and move in the direction of a Mountain in which their is a Temple surrounded with golden statues. The Young Kids climb the cliff and are at the Cave's Entrance. The Temple is dark and gloomy inside, as we are there, looking towards the outside, as the Kids race in. Once in the cave, Pouncer stops.)

Pouncer Little: Aah! This place give me the juicebumps!

(A group of Bats fly out of the mouth of one of the Golden statues.)

Chet Colley: Maybe we should go back!

Dawn Ferris: Very back!

Nash Cuddlesworth: Going back yet!

Leafie Tallertail: No, We can't go back now, you guys!

Harris Faulkner: Okey-Dokey Jones never goes back, even me!

(The Young Kids move near a door-shaped like Darlina's head. They act surprised. Inside the "mouth" is a bright, orange-colored light.)

Nash Cuddlesworth: Wow!

Harris Faulkner: It's so golden!

Leafie Tallertail: Hang on to your pants, kids, we're goin' in!

Pouncer Little: (voice over) ''That's Leafie Tallertail. She's the young bravest Kid I ever knowed!''

(As Pouncer talks, Leafie races toward the door. As he gets there, the door slams, while he raced in there once it's open, and after he enters, it slams shut again. Harris and Nash look shocked while Chet, and Dawn look surprised.)

Pouncer Little: (voice over) ''And that's Chet and Dawn. Uh, uh, well, they--they like being friends. Of course, Harris and Nash are the ones who is nice.''

(Chet and Dawn hold hands and rush in through the door along with Harris and Nash, which closed behind them.)

Pouncer Little: (voice over) And I'm Pouncer. Uh... I'm not so brave.

(Pouncer was hesitant to enter, but was whipped in by Leafie.)

 Pouncer Little: (voice over) But that's okay, 'cause I got Leafie, and she's my bestest friend. (giggles)

(The Kids run to a tower on which is perched an idol. They climb the tower to reach the idol. While trying to take the statuette, the idol becomes a banana split and a trap is released, which causes a boulder rock to roll towards them.)

Harris Faulkner: Uh oh!

Pouncer Little: Watch out!

(The kids starts to shout while running like the wind to try escape the rock.)

Leafie Tallertail: Keep moving, it's right behind us!

(Suddenly, the floor open itself in front of them. Leafie, Harris, Nash, Chet and Dawn made the jump, but Pouncer misses his, hanging on the brink.)

Pouncer Little: Leafie! Help me!

Leafie Tallertail: Come on, Pouncer!

(Back to Reality: The rock was Karline's stomach.)

Karline Tallertail: Leafie! (The kids scream and run away.) You little youngers shouldn't be playing in here!

(The Young Kids run away at full speed.)

Pouncer Little: (voice over) We thought the fun times would last forever.

(The Young Kids run into glass patio door and fall on the floor.)

Pouncer Little: (voice over) But we was wrong!

Karline Tallertail: Oh, my.

(Lil' Stinky holds onto Karline as she picks up the Young Kids.)

Lil' Stinky: Upsy-daisy, Karline.

Karline Tallertail: Thanks.

(Lil' Stinky opens the patio door and let the Young Kids go out. The Grown-Ups are having a Baby Shower Part for Karline.)

Sariah Black: Thank you for inviting me to your Baby Shower Party, Mrs. Tallertail.

(Camera zooms out for a panoramic shot of the whole party.)

Karline Tallertail: Glad you could be here, Sariah.

Woman #1: What a pretty party dress, Darlina.

Darlina Downer: Thank you. My Mommy's Assistant bought it especially for my Aunt Karlina's Party. (Sariah laughs while making fun of Darlina's dress.) Don't say a word.

(Along the fence, Majesty Maddline is in front of a blackboard, taking bets on the new baby's weight.)

Majesty Maddline: All right, I got $20 on 8 pounds, 6 ounces. 8 pounds 6. Who's got 8-7?

Man: 12!

Majesty Maddline: 12 pounds? What are you, crazy?

Bradie Bonster: Gosh, you can hardly tell she's gained any weight.

(While turning over, Karline knock over the table with her stomach.)

Woman #2: Oh, don't worry.

Bradie Bonester: I mean, you know from behind.

Dania Beaverton: There you are, Karline. Come. Look what we got for you. Beaky, move your tuchus.

Karlina Tallertail: A Goat? Oh, Mom, you shouldn't have.

Dania Beaverton: Nothing better for the little bubula than goat's milk.

Beaky Longview: Except maybe yak. But you try finding good yak these days. (The kids run and bump into the goat and it bleats.) She's saying, "Hello". There you go, kinderlach, some chocolate coins.

(The Young Kids take the coins and hide their selves under the table.)

Woman #3: Everything I, oh...

(On way to table, Pouncer bumps into ladies, they all gasp and Bradie Bonester is looking.)

Bradie Bonester: What are you doing?

(Pan to bottom of table.)

Chet Colley: Aren't you gonna eat it, Leafie?

Leafie Tallertail: Nope. I'm saving it for my baby brother.

Pouncer Little: Oh, you mean, he finally came?

Harris Faulkner: Not yet, but they're giving him this big Party, so I'm pretty sure today's the day.

Dawn Ferris: Do you think he got losted on his way to the party?

Leafie Tallertail: Hmm, I don't know. Maybe we better go look for him. Come on!

(The Young Kids climb out from under table.)

Nash Cuddlesworth: Uh, but, Leafie, he could be anywheres.

(Nash bumps into Karline's stomach.)

Lil' Stinky: Watch it, kittens.

Karline Tallertail: Careful.

(Princess Razzberris arrives as per usual, she's talking to her Boss on her cell phone.)

Princess Razzberris: (on her phone) I'll get back to you, Sir. I've got to say "hi" to the life of the Party. (to Karline) How's our little man?

Karline Tallertail: I told you, Razzberris, Dr. Shepherd says, "it's a boy."

Lil' Stinky: Ha! That windbag thought Chet and Dawn were intestinal gas.

Majesty Maddline: Face it, dolly. Riding high, it's a guy.

Princess Razzberris: Well, you know what they say, "Born under Venus, look for a..." (Her phone rings, interrupting her conversation. She immediately answers.) Hello?

Karline Tallertail: Now, now, Dr. Shepherd is the expert. I don't see any of you with a PHD in latin.

Lil' Stinky: Yeah, pig Latin maybe. Well, let's just hope for Leafie's sake it's a boy. I'd hate to think how much my pups would be squabbling if they were both boys.

Karline Tallertail: Uh, uh, uh. Let's not do any gender stereotyping. After all, Rattz and Feather Wood are brothers, and they get along just fine.

(Cut to the Rescue House's Basement, where Feather Wood and Rattz are arguing.)

Feather Wood: Pushy!

Rattz: Lazy!

Feather Wood: Bossy!

Rattz: Inconsiderate!

Feather Wood: Nosy!

Rattz: Good for nothing!

Feather Wood: Busy-body!

Both: WHY CAN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?!

Rattz: We're talking about a real job, Feather Wood, with benefits.

Feather Wood: I'm not going to waste my life as a clock-punching, paper-pushing, bean-counting... Oh, no, offense.

(Feather Wood proceeds to weld.)

Rattz: You barely make ends meet now. You've got no insurance, no savings, and another kid on the way!

Feather Wood: For your information, bro, I am working on something right now that is going to put this branch of the Children Ganf on Easy Street.

Rattz: What is it this time, huh, an electric sponge?

Feather Wood: Of course not! That was last year. (reveals a skeleton of the Rondor Wagon) This, this is the Ronder Wagon of the Rondor the Red Fox varient! The ultimate in Toddler Transportation. The perfectional Children's Toy!

(Bluesy Beaverton fixes an old radio as he talks.)

Bluesy Beaverton: In my day, we had plenty of fun just throwin' rocks at each other. Big bag of dirt clods, that's what the kids want.

Feather Wood: The Wild Corporation is holding a toy design contest and the winner gets $500!

Rattz: (sarcastically) Ooh!

Feather Wood: And there'll be plenty more if this toy's a hit, and I'll be famous!

Rattz: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you said when you built that stupid thing.

(Rattz points to Velinda the Vulture Glider, which is suspended from the ceiling.)

Stu: Maybe Velinda the Vulture was a little...complex, but... this... this...watch! (speaking into microphone, in normal voice) I am Ronder! Check my pounce!

Rondor Wagon: (Feather Wood's voice, distorted) I am Ronder! Check my pounce!

(The Rondor Wagon spits fireballs.)

Bluesy Beaverton: Dang-flabbit! Can't a man work in his own Basement without gettin' barbecued?!

Feather Wood: Okay, so maybe real fire ball isn't the best idea for a Children's Toy.

(Rattz's shirt is smoldering; Feather Wood sprays Rattz with the fire extinguisher.)

(Cut to Leafie's room in th Rescue House, which was remodeled for the new baby. One side is pink, yellow, green and blue, for Leafie's side, which has a Dummi-bear bed, a "Smile!" poster and a trunk with smiles painted all over, The new baby's side is nursery painted, with a crib festooned with balloons and an "It's a boy!" banner on the wall with lots of toys. The Young Kids enter the room to their own amazement.)

All: Oh!

Nash Cuddlesworth: Leafie, somebody's been coloring your room.

Leafie Tallertail: Yep, it's for my new Brother.

Chet Colley: How are we gonna find him, Leafie?

Pouncer Little: Yeah, we don't even know what he looks like.

Dawn Ferris: Well, he's a boy like Harris, so we know he'll be playyful.

Harris Faulkner: Yeah, we need to get a Baby Brother, quickly.

Darlina Downer: (Enters, carrying a big bunch of cookies using the lower part of her dress) Oh, sister! You dumb kids got a lot to learn about the facts of lice. (shoves the Young Kids en route to table) Now, get out of my way. I gotta get back to the dessert table before the Grownups get all the good stuff.

(Darlina dumps cookies on a table.)

Leafie Tallertail: Darlina, can you help us find my Baby Brother?

Darlina Downer: I wouldn't be in such a big hurry if I was you, Leafie. 'Cause when the new baby gets here, he's gonna gets all the toys and the love and the attention. And your Mommy and Daddy'll forget all about you. It'll be like, "Look, Deed... there's that little Aussie Kid in the Rescue House again."

Leafie Tallertail: My Mommy and Daddy won't forget me.

Darlina Downer: That's what Stinkpew said before you were born. Back when his name was Billy.

Leafie Tallertail: Billy?

Darlina Downer: Yeah, but, then you came along and they put him out in the rain and he turned into a skunk.

Harris Faulkner: That's not gonna happen to me, Darlina. My Mommy and Daddy will love me no matter what!

(Voice over: Sariah is outside, singing to the tune of the first couple of lines of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", "The ABC Song" and "Baa Baa Black Sheep". Beaky accompanies her on accordion. Darlina looks on from Leafie's room.)

Sariah Black: (singing) A baby is a very neat, a baby is a special treat.

Darlina Downer: Ugh! Who does Sariah Black think she is?

Sariah Black: A baby has lots of toes, a baby has a tiny nose.

(Darlina leaves while the other Young Kids watch from inside.)

(Cut to outside. All are singing, unless specified.)

Sariah Black: A baby is a little dickens, a baby is a cuddly chicken.

(Darlina is next to Karlina's belly, chuckling, as she plans to make her move.)

Sariah Black: A baby is lots of joy.

Darlina Downer (barging in): A baby will get all the toys!

Sariah Black: What are you doing? (continues singing) A baby has a smiley face...

Darlina Downer: A baby is from outside space!

Sariah Black: Darlina!

Darlian Downer: Sariah!

Sariah Black: A baby is extra fancy.

Darlina Downer: A baby poops in his pantsies!

Sariah Black: Cut it out!

Darlina Downer: No!

(Music switches to a Tejano beat, using different arrangement.)

(The Young Kids climb outside to watch.)

Sariah Black: Like a birdie, singing in a tree!

Darlina Downer: More like Rondor, screaming in your ear!

Both: A baby is a gift, a gift from a Bob! A baby is a gift from a Bob, Bob, Bob! A baby is a gift.

(Darlina does a gagging gesture.)

Sariah Black: A gift from a Bob!

(Cut to under table, where the Rugrats crawled underneath. Leafie and Pouncer are talking, while music continues under.)

Pouncer Little: Do you really think babies are a gift from a Bob?

Leafie Tallertail: I don't know. Why?

Pouncer Little: Because if Bob bringed a gift, it's probably one of them. (points to the Baby Shower Gifts on a nearby table)

(Return to Darlina and Sariah, music reverts to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", though the Tejano flavor remains.)

Sariah Black: A baby is very special!

Darlina Downer: A baby is, is NOT!!!!!

(Song ends, Darlina's screaming has induced Karlina's labor. Karlina groans in discomfort.)

Karlina Tallertail: Oh! Lil' Stinky, it's time!

Lil' Stinky: It's time? Oh, boy. Everybody to your stations, people! Bluesy, get Feather Wood. Razzberris, call the Hospital. Deed, start your breathing. Come on, good girl.

(Karline begins her rhythmic breathing.)

(The other Teenagers pick up the Young Kids.)

Bluesy Beaverton: Up we go, sprout. We got a Beaver to deliver.

Princess Razzberris: Let's go to the car, Kids.

(During the rush, the Goat broke loose and destroyed the Party. While the Goat destroys things, it sets off the sprinkler system.)

Princess Razzberries: Would somebody turn that sprinkler off?

(The Goat comes inside, dragging a chair on her leg.)

(Bluesy and Leafie look on.)

Bluesy Beaverton: Now, that's what I call a "Baby Shower!"

(Cut to exterior of the "Lipschitz Maternity Arts Building", 3 cars race to the front entrance. Cut to interior, looking at a bank of Monitors with Dr. Shepherd's image on each Monitor.)

Dr. Shepherd: (on monitors) Welcome to the Werner P. Lipschitz Center for Holistic Birthing, offering the modern parent the state of the art in primitive birth alternatives.

(While Shepherd speaks, a statue with Lipschitz holding several babies come into view. Then, cut to a board that displays the names of mothers giving birth, in a fashion of the "Arrivals" and "Delays" board at airports. The gang arrive at the reception desk.)

Nurse Gazzie: Oh, Mrs. Tallertail! You weren't due till next week, now, dear. Geez well, I guess we could try and squeeze you in somewhere, huh?

Karline Tallertail: But Dr. Shepherd promised us the all-natural Zen experience in the Tibetan terrace room!

Beaky Longview: In my day, a woman just dropped her baby in the potato field and kept going.

Nurse Gazzie: Ah, yes, the old country room.

(Nurse Gazzie opens door to a room that has maternity equipment in a middle of a potato field, complete with cows and a farmer.)

Karline Tallertall: Do you have anything a little cleaner?

Nurse Gazzie: We could try the aquatic immersion room.

(The gang looks at a window of a tank that has fish, a sea turtle and ruins, plus the pre-requisite maternity gear. The new mother pictured is in scuba gear, while her doctor is in an old-fashioned sea diver's outfit.)

Dania Beaverton: She's having a baby, not a gefilte fish!

(A couple of doctors enter; one of them is Dr. Englanda Black.)

Dr. Englanda Black: Oh! Feather Wood, Karline, Randy called to say you were on your way. (laughs) I didn't realize you were bringin' the whole party! How far apart are the pains, hon?

Feather Wood: Oh, they're... (Karline squeezes his hand very tight) pretty much constant.

Dr. Englanda Black: Okay, Karline, let's go and get you settled in, huh?

(The Young Kids are placed in a Playpen area.)

Bluesy Beaverton: Here you go, sprout.

Karline Tallertail: Don't worry, sweetie, mommy's going to be okay.

(Grown-ups leave; Karline continues her breathing exercises. Bluesy and Beaky sit nearby, preparing to play cards.)

Pouncer Little: Oh, gosh, Leafie, your Mommy sure seems upset.

Dawn Ferris: Maybe your baby brother really is losted.

Leafie Tallertail: Whoa! Maybe we can buy her a new one.

(Leafie pulls out her chocolate coin.)

Nash Cuddlesworth: Where're we gonna find a baby in a place like this?

(Pull away to reveal several Doctors walking around, carrying babies. The Young Kids, in the usual fashion, break out of the Playpen, and crawl out without being caught by Bluesy and Beaky, who are too busy playing "Fish".)

Bluesy Beaverton: You got any queens?

Beaky Longview: Go fish!

(The Young Kids enter the Newborns' Nursery.)

Chet Colley: Hey, a baby store.

Dawn Ferris: Nice and wiggly.

Leafie Tallertail: You guys help me pick one my mom will like.

(The song "This World is Something New to Me" begins as babies cry and Pouncer steps on one of the light switches on the floor. For your convenience, the newborns' lines will be identified by the artist singing it.)

Charro the Parrot: Where am I?

Pedro the Gecko: How did I get here?

Persia the Long-Haired Cat: Today is very different than yesterday.

Robert the Frog: So this is the world?

Shelby the Pug: I miss my old womb.

Tyrone the Turtle: The wallpaper here just ain't the same.

Robbie the Raccoon: This word is something strange.

Charro the Parrot: I'm wet!

Webster the Platypus: I'm cold!

Arthur the Arctic Fox: (waggles a diaper) I need a change!

All: (tosses the blankets in air) This world is something new to me.

Arthur the Arctic Fox: Oh, my head! What is this? I can't take it!

Harper the Harp Seal: (on an adjacent monitor) Me either!

(Robotic camera zooms in on next baby animal.)

Jack the Rabbit: I'm hungry.

Robert the Frog: I'm tired.

Wolfgang the Husky: (pounds a crib floor to make a pacifier bounce) I'm irritated!

Robert the Frog: But I love the extra leg room.

Persia the Long-Haired Cat: (Points to her bellybutton) Man! They cut my cord!

Roary the Lion: (Looks in his diaper) Consider yourself lucky!

Wolfgang the Husky: This world is way too big!

Roary the Lion: (baby points at Nash) And populated by fuzzy pigs.

All: This world is something new to me.

Robbie the Raccoon: This world is such a gas. (passes gas)

Jojo the Kangaroo and Kittie the Tiger: P.U., where's your class?

All: This world is something new to me.

(2 baby carriers collide with each other as the Young Kids push them around.)

Jack the Rabbit: Quiet! can't a guy get some shuteye?

Persia the Long-Haired Cat: It’s so noisy in here.

Roary the Lion: I can barely hear myself suck.

(A baby grabs a bottle from Pouncer.)

Wolfgang the Husky: The food here tastes pretty good,

Arthur the Arctic Fox: My compliments to the Chef.

Harper the Harp Seal: And you gotta holler to get fed.

Robert the Frog: But I could get used to that.

(Babies cry, Pouncer falls on floor onto a light switch)

Charro the Parrot: This world is way too bright,

Jack the Rabbit: Can't somebody turn down the light?

Tyrone the Turtle: (looks inside his diaper) So that's what that thing looks like.

Wolfgang the Husky: All things here are meant for play,

(throws a pacifier; robotic camera follows it.)

Robbie the Raccoon: It's gonna be a real cool day.

All: This world is something new to me.

(Newborns pee in the air to make a fountain, while unidentified babies sing: "da-de-da-da-da", etc.; one of the female animal Babies say "Real cool", while another one says "Look!")

All: (as rainbow forms) This world is something new to me.

(Robotic camera retracts and monitor shuts off as number ends.)

Harris Faulkner: (Giving the babies a thumps up) Nice song.

(Bluesy Beaverton enters the Nursery.)

Bluesy Beaverton: There you are.

Beaky Longview: Oy, gevalt! You kinder gave my ticker such a scare.

(They pick up the Young Kids and leave the Nursery. As they leave, they shut the light out, and the rainbow from the musical number fades away.)

(Cut to Karline's room. Apparently, the room she has chosen is the usual, ordinary birthing room. Karline's rhythmic breathing continues, though it's now at a faster pace. The staff work on Karline while Dr. Englanda gives orders.)

Dr. Englenda Black: All right, Karline, you can do it. Push now! (to the staff) Have we got a good reading on the EFM?

(Karline screams fearfully. We cut to what seems to be a graphic representation of a baby being born, from a baby's point of view inside Karline's body. In order, we see a blast of blue light, a group of planets, a school of fish mingling in aquatic plantlife, dinosaurs, dolphins and monkeys, stonehenge, the sphinx, atoms and finally, bright light, all of them rendered in CGI. These items zoom by while the baby is born. A grand version of the "Bluesy Beaverton and the Children Gang" theme song plays under. After the bright light, we cut back to outside Karline's body, still looking from the baby's point of view, which starts out as out of focus.)

Dr. Englenda Black: Here it comes.

Karline Tallertail: Gorgeous!

Feather Wood: Karline, he's so beautiful. He's... he's a girl!

(The baby's eyes are now in focus, as she is handed to Karline. She starts crying very softly, and kind of adorably.)

Karline Tallertail: Hello, my wonderful, sweet baby girl.

(Switch back to audience's point of view, where we now see the new baby in Karline's arms softly crying and hiccupping. Feather Wood wipes the tears from his eyes as Karline lets him grab her finger.)

Feather Wood: Well, I guess we won't be naming her after my mother.

Karline Tallertail: She doesn't look much like a trixie. What about my cousin Ferlindia?

Feather Wood: Ferlindia Treetopper Tallertail. Hmm.

(The Nurse is writing down the name, as the baby is sucking on Karline's finger.)

Nurse Gazzie: Ferline Tallertail.

(Feather Wood and Karline hear what the Nurse said, and realize what a great name it is.)

Feather Wood: Yeah... I like it.

(Featherr Wood and Karline look at their new daughter Ferline, who looks up at her father and smiles at him.)

(Bluesy Beaverton takes Leafie into Karline's room. After being placed next to Dr. Englenda Black, Leafie gives the Doctor her coin.)

Bluesy Beaverton: Here you go, sprout.

Karline Tallertail: Leafie, I want you to meet someone very special. This is your sister, Ferlindia. Ferline, this is Leafie.

(Ferline, sucking on a pacifier, looks at Leafie.)

Leafie Tallertail: (gasps) Baby...

Karline Tallertail: See? They already love each other.

(Ferline hiccups before he tweaks Leafie's nose. Leafie starts crying.)

Leafie Tallertail: Waaaaaahhhhh! Aaaaaahhhhh!

(This in turn causes Ferline to start crying.)

Leafie/Ferline Tallertail: Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! Waaaaaahhhh! Aaaaahhhh! Aaaaaaahhhh!

Lil' Stinky: Well, that's a start.

(Cut to exterior of the House. Caption "Four Weeks Later", a gong sounds. Cut to the kitchen, where Feather Wood and Karlineare in their morning clothes, and the kitchen is a big mess. Karline is literally sleeping in the kitchen sink, among the suds. Ferline is crying continuously.)

Feather Wood: Didi, what are we gonna do? She hasn't stopped crying since we brought her home!

(Pan to Playpen.)

Chet Colley: Somehow it's not as much fun around here anymore.

Nash Cuddlesworth: Yeah! What is your sister so sad about?

Leafie Tallertail: I don't know! But whatever it is, it must be really bad.

Pouncer Little: Uh... Broked?

Dawn Ferris: Maybe he's broked!

Leafie Tallertail: What?!

Chet Colley/Dawn Ferris: Broked!

(A monkey's head on a cymbal doll that Dawn was holding pops off.)

Leafie Tallertail: Broked?

(Feather Wood, Karline and a still-crying Ferline walk by.)

Harris Faulkner: He's not broked, he's a... just a little loud!

Darlina Downer: Ooh! That baby's getting on my nerves!

(Darlina goes into another room and slams the door. Nuttber Butter is in his char, sleeping as a fishing show is seen. The Goat is next to him, also sleeping. Darlina changes the channel and turns up the volume. The first thing she sees is a commercial. Caption: "Coming Soon". The commercial featured Prairie Dogs and two ringmasters in a circus ring.)

Commercial: Direct from Moscow, the Wild Brothers Prairie Dog Circus! Featuring the most amazing Prairie Dogs since Brezhnev! This is real Praire Dog business, so Trotsky on down. The Wild Brothers Prairie Dog Circus! (Circus logo slides into view.)

Darlina Downer: NUTTER! CAN WE GO TO THE CIRCUS?!

(The Goat bumps into the armchair's back.)

Nutter Butter: It's enough of a Circus around here already!

(Cut to black, then fade to the exterior of the House at night. Ferline cries.)

(Caption: "Four O'Clock In the Morning")

Feather Wood: (exhausted) Oh, for the love of Pete. What do you want from us? What? What?

(Feather Wood lays on the floor with Ferline. An American flag is waving on the TV.)

(Karline looks in the Lipschitz book.)

Karline Tallertail: Oh, there must be something in here we missed. Somewhere, somehow, something!

Feather Wood: There must be. Let me see here!

(Feather Wood grabs the book from Karline and looks inside.)

Karline Tallertail: Cats, colic, Creole baby food. Uh, oh yeah, here it is. Crying...

(We skim the text of the book as Stu reads it. After the second "infant", we cut to Feather Wood's blood-shot eyes, then to an exhausted Feather Wood and Karline on the couch.)

Feather Wood: Although a baby's crying signifies a disruption in the infant-parent matrix, the good-enough parent pacifies the infant during this period of primary narcissism, foregoing their own needs, sublim-, sublimating, sublimating all their own needs too.

(Feather Wood and Karline fall asleep. Ferline stops crying, only to see a giant Dr. Shepherd rotating up from behind the couch. Two babies, with books for wings, fly off of the doctor, as she is lit up. She starts to sing.)

Dr. Shepherd: Raising a baby is a serious venture.

(Feather Wood & Karline "wake up"; one of the winged babies take away the Lipschitz book, while the other baby picks up Ferline and takes her away.)

Dr. Shepherd: Not to be embarked upon by the faint of heart.

(Shepherd plops dunce caps on Feather Wood and Karline.)

Lipschitz: Parents must make choices that are perfect and wise, For you're doing something wrong when the baby cries.

(A book on top of a pile of books opens, and Shepherd picks up the couple and drops them into some sort of netherworld.)

(In that world, Feather Wood & Karline races up a "staircase" of books.)

Dr. Shepherd: You must consider, the psychology of an infant,

(Feather Wood and Karline then appear as small Babies -- Feather Wood in diapers, and Karline all wrapped up, sucking on a pacifier.)

Dr. Shepherd: Nature vs. Nurture, Feed the ego; starve the mind.

(Twin Shepherds appear on either side of the crib. They embrace each other, then turn into a Rorschach print, which Shepherd holds, while sitting in a chair.)

Dr. Shepherd: You must anticipate each crisis sure to arise, For you're doing something wrong when the baby cries.

(As Shepherd sings, a saw saws a hole underneath Feather Wood & Karline, then, they fall through. They are picked up by a giant stork by its claws, holding Lipschitz inside its beak, while flying with a flock of storks.)

(Cut to a puppet theater, with puppeteer Shepherd holding Feather Wood and Karlinepuppets. Leafie and Ferline snatch the puppets from Shepherd, and fight over them.)

Shepherd: Don't forget the older when attending to the younger, Sibling rivalry can damage all of you.

(The Rescue House plops on top of them. As its walls bulge, Feather Wood & Karline rush out with Ferline, dodging falling giant baby items -- rattle, baby bottle, safety pin.)

Dr. Shephers: Be a mother, don't smother, Why do you want a neurosis?

(Ferline grows unbelievably large, crushing Feather Wood & Karline.)

Dr. Shepherd: Failure to oralise can lead to toilet training disturbances.

(Ferline's diaper bulges, then explodes.)

(Cut to Feather Wood, changing Ferline's diaper. Dr. Shepherd pops out of a diaper pail, yelling...)

Dr. Shepherd: Wrong!

(Cut to Karline, rocking Leafie & Ferline to sleep. They start to cry when Dr. Shepherd rolls up a window and shouts...)

Lipschitz: Wrong!

(Cut to Feather Wood, strolling Ferline with Leafie on his back. Dr. Shepherd looks with a magnifying glass, as Rattz, Lil' Stinky & Princess Razzberries look on.)

Dr. Shepherd: Careful, now!

(Cut to Ferline crying, in an auto carrier. Feather Wood & Karline rush to his aid, when Dr. Shepherd, with Bradie Bonester, Bluesy Beaverton & Nutter Butter looking on, opens the roof and says...)

Dr. Shepherd: No, no, no! Bad parents! Bad parents!

(Cut to Feather Wood, Karline & Ferline rushing through the city. The winged babies picked them up and flew them to a temple of justice. Dr. Shepherd appears as a "lawyer".)

Dr. Shepherd: Raising a baby is a complicated venture. Not to be embarked on by a weaker constitution.

(Dr. Shepherd then appears as a giant baby, standing on the table, between Dil & Tommy.)

Dr. Shepherd: It's really something different, from what we fantacise, You are doing something wrong when the baby cries.

(Shepherd leaps to the couple. Then, he goes to a jury of Dils, which gives "thumbs down" . The couple magically appears in prison garb, and a ball and chain.)

Dr. Shepherd: It's really very different, from what we fantacise, You are doing something wrong when the baby... starts to... cry!

(Leafie plops a giant book on top of the couple.)

(The dream ends, waking up the couple. They look at each other as Ferline cries.)

(Cut to an old steam train, which pulls into a station. 2 men, Mr. Sidrid the Striped Newt and Punkie Dunkie the Sea Otter, leave the Locomotive.)

Punkie Dunkie: Mr. Sidrid, you stay here and watch Prairie Dogs, I get us coffee.

Mr. Sidrid: No, Punkie, you stay and watch monkeys and I get us coffee.

Punkie Dunkie: Nyet! Prairie Dogs watch you, I GET COFFEE!

(Cut to interior of diner, where both men are enjoying their coffee. Punkie drinks from a cup, where Mr. Sidrid drinks from a dish. Both are also eating donuts. Their train is in view through a window as the Prairie Dogs climb out and on top of the Train.)

Mr. Sidrid: I think coffee's better in St. Petersburg.

Punkie Dunkie: Nyet, is better in Kiev.

Mr. Sidrid: No, it's better in St. Petersburg.

Punkie Dunkie: Nothing is better in St. Petersburg!

(While the men argue over coffee, the Prairie Dogs commandeer the train, and were able to move it. Mr. Sidrid does a "spit-take.")

Mr. Sidrid: Look! The Train!

(The men rush out, bumping over tables and other Customers.)

Mr. Sidrid: Let me out! Stop!

(By the time Mr. Sidrid and Punkie Dunkie get out of the diner, the Train's already racing off into the distance; Punkie Dunkie rants angrily in Russian and throws his hat to the ground and stomps on it.)

(Cut to the Train still rolling off. Inside the train, it's revealed the monkeys have commandeered it. The lead Prairie Dog who is driving the Train puts on an Engineer's Cap and smiles. Another Prairie Dog pushes a lever that increases the Train's speed. After it passes a flashing "Danger, Slow Curve" signal, the train derails and crashes into a vast forest. Before we fade out, one of the Prairie Dogs climb out, bewildered.)